The triumphant return of fantasy football season
College Contributor Network
It's that time of the year.
School is back in session and college students have a lot on their minds.
From deciding if and when to buy their overpriced Sociology of Sport textbook that they plan on never opening (sorry mom), to figuring out the brother's name they are going to drop at a fraternity's after-hours party during syllabus week, kids are always scheming.
So when your fraternity or dorm floor says it has an opening for its fantasy football league, you join it.
"Hey, $100 to possibly win $750 and ultimate frat/floor bragging rights? Let's get it."
But little do you know you just signed up for your sixth class. Avid fantasy footballers already accounted for this class when they created their schedules over summer. They left Monday nights open so they could watch Monday Night Football and didn't mind taking a 9:30 a.m. that day because they knew laptops were allowed.
Your new class allows you to ignore your European history teacher's lecture on Machiavelli and your finance teacher's explanation of heterogeneous intertemporal cash flows.
Because now, you're about to experience the toga party of all toga parties.
It's what it feels like when you finally get up to the front of the Chipotle line, after turning down a chat-and-cut opportunity.
It's the 1 a.m. drunk Jimmy John's #14 Bootlegger of all 1 a.m. drunk Jimmy John's #14 Bootleggers.
It's fantasy football.
According to Wikipedia (a disreputable source for us college kids*), fantasy football "is an interactive online competition in which users compete against each other as general managers of virtual fantasy teams built from drafting real players."
*Disclaimer: Despite this fact, if you've ever written a history paper, you wrote half your paper based off Wikipedia information in which you copied and pasted the information, highlighted each word one-by-one and used the thesaurus feature on Word to scheme TurnItIn.com and your professor. (Don't worry I won't tell).
But with these virtual fantasy teams comes a competition far greater than any competition in the world. While you drafted Matt Forte No. 4 overall because quite frankly you had to, you may have drafted Darren Sproles in the ninth round just to spite a fellow Eagles fan in your league.
It is the ultimate activity at your frat house on Sundays and can even be the ultimate activity at the house on Thursday nights if your social chair books a dry mixer.
While the teams may be virtual, the players are real and the bonds you will form with them will last a lifetime....well, actually just 17 weeks...but I did know a kid who had Reggie Wayne and Brian Hartline on his team for three years in a row once...and shockingly, no he never won.
Because this is fantasy football.
And with that, it's my honor to welcome you to the 2014 NFL season.
Bryan Rubin is a senior at Syracuse University. He once ate Chipotle three times in one day and woke up at 3:46 a.m. on a Wednesday mornings to make a roster move to his fantasy football team (while his friends are sleeping) to avoid wasting his No. 1 waiver claim. Follow him on Twitter: @bryan_rubin