Surprise! Hello Kitty isn't a kitty ... she's actually a cartoon girl?

Breaking, Hello Kitty Is Not A Kitty
Breaking, Hello Kitty Is Not A Kitty

Every so often a story breaks that makes you question everything you think is real. Get ready, because this is one of those stories.

Hello Kitty, that iconic Japanese feline that can be seen on many kindergartner's lunch boxes around the globe, is not a cat. In fact, she's not even Japanese.

In what can only be described as a disturbing report from the Los Angeles Times, Sanrio, the maker of Hello Kitty, told an anthropologist from the University of Hawaii that, "Hello Kitty is not a cat. She's a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She's never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature.'

By that logic, Mickey isn't a mouse. Bugs not a bunny. Gossamer not a... actually, what is Gossamer?

So if Hello Kitty isn't a kitty cat, what is she?

According to Sanrio, she's a third grade girl named Kitty White. She has human parents named Mary and George White, and a twin sister named Mimmy. And, get this, she lives in London. London!

Kitty White (if that's even her real name) hasn't commented on this breaking news, but what do you expect ... she doesn't have a mouth.

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