Abbey's Road: Harnessing the power of words on the bike path to brighten someone's day

Lately, the days have gotten warmer here in central Ohio, evidenced by the fact that our family has, on two separate occasions, committed the sacrilege of turning on the air conditioning in April (Sorry, Mom, I know I’ve disappointed you).

Warmer days, for me, have meant more time spent on our county’s extensive network of bike paths with my trusty steed (vintage Schwinn racing bike), Hwinn.

Hwinn and I have taken many miles’ worth of adventures together in the past month or so, and as I watch the seasons change before my eyes, I am filled with gratitude for simple things, like green leaves and flowers in places that used to be stark and bare.

Even pedaling past freshly fertilized farmers’ fields awakened a sense of gratitude (and many other things) as I became aware that this signifies planting and growth and, eventually, a harvest.

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There’s a lot going on in the world right now, some of it heavy, some of it just the usual people fighting with people because they have nothing better to do. I like to go out into nature with Hwinn because when we are among trees and fields and sky, I can forget about those things for a while and try to redirect my thoughts toward things that are purposeful.

Perhaps you have a thing like that: Golfing or knitting or walking. A productive redirection of thoughts so you can be a healthier, more positive voice to the ones around you.

Last week as I rode, I was contemplating these things when I looked ahead and saw a young woman walking a dog on the path in front of me. What struck me when I saw her was the way the sun shone on her chestnut-colored hair. It was smooth and vibrant and really just beautiful — perhaps my motherhood task of persuading at least two brown-haired girls to brush until the tangles are gone increases my sense of appreciation for this sort of thing — and I played the game with myself for a second, traveling at 16 mph with little time to decide, if it would be weird for me to compliment this stranger on her hair as I flew past.

Ultimately I decided to just go for it because chances are I would never see her again — and honestly I’m not sure I’d recognize her if I did — so what did I have to lose?

So after I called out a friendly “On your left” and came up beside her, I simply said, “Your hair is really beautiful!” and went on my way.

I think she said thanks; I don’t actually know. I did what I set out to do and it felt good.

Later that day, I was talking to one of my teenage daughter’s friends about how we can use our words to build people up, and I told her the story about complimenting a stranger on the bike path.

“I love it when people compliment my hair,” she said, smiling. “Or compliment my eyelashes. Because I spend a lot of time on those things, and when people say nice things about them, it makes me feel good.”

This from a teenager who, like all teenagers, fights a very real battle with self-esteem every single day. And we all know they aren’t the only ones.

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I say all of this not to portray myself as a saint, but to illustrate — as my young friend reaffirmed — the power of a simple compliment to uplift not just the hearer’s heart, but the giver’s, as well.

Compliments are often my default when I’m not sure how to broach a conversation with someone, and I figure I can’t go wrong with something positive.

“Red is a great color on you!”

“I really like how you play with your son on the playground!”

“It was so thoughtful of you to ask about our dietary restrictions!”

I’ve decided to challenge myself to look for windows such as these every day, because you never know when your words — however small or insignificant they may seem to you — are just what someone needed to make it through a hard day. (And sadly the converse is true — let us not be the person who ruins someone’s day by thoughtless or insensitive words; frankly, I would rather have “sticks and stones.”)

I cannot do much to stop all the crazy that’s happening in the world, but I can do a small part to raise the temperature in my tiny corner of it. Even if I never see the effect of my words, I can feel good knowing that I’ve used them to build up and not tear down.

Abbey Roy is a mom of three girls who make every day an adventure. She writes to maintain her sanity. You can probably reach her at amroy@nncogannett.com, but responses are structured around bedtimes and weekends.

This article originally appeared on Newark Advocate: Abbey's Road: A simple compliment has the power to uplift and encourage