70 Funny Winter Jokes That Are Absolutely Brrr-illiant
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The weather is getting cooler and the days will continue to shorten until the first day of winter. Love it or hate it, winter is on everybody's mind. While a freezing forecast is nothing to look forward to, the chilly season is also what you make of it. Just look at Ree Drummond's *slightly controversial* take! "Ah, winter! It truly is the most wonderful time of the year," says Ree. "Winter means holidays, which means prepping and cooking the Thanksgiving meal, figuring out which Christmas cookies to make, searching for the perfect gifts, picking out the best tree on the lot, making (and delivering) cinnamon rolls to friends and neighbors—the works." See, it's all about your frame of mind! So, what better way to put yourself in a cheerful mood than telling some of the best winter jokes?
Park yourself by the fire because the whole family is in for a giggle. You can let out some holiday shopping steam by writing jokes about winter in your cards or sharing them aloud with your loved ones. Some of these do double duty as Christmas jokes and Christmas riddles, while others can apply to the whole season. Who wouldn't smile at a silly one-liner about what you'd call prom in the North Pole (A snow ball, of course!). You'll also find silly dad jokes, as well as winter jokes for kids. Use them as winter Instagram captions after you snap a picture with the snowman they've built! Or stick a silly note in their lunch box with a line like, "What kind of math do Snowy Owls do best?" (Owlgebra). Sure, these are cheesy, but they're guaranteed to melt even an ice queen's heart.
Jokes About Winter
Where does a snowman get the weather report? The winternet.
What's the weatherman's favorite food in winter? Brrr-itos!
Why did the husband pour warm water on his computer? He had asked his wife what to do if windows froze.
Why did the bear keep getting fired? He always disappeared in the winter.
What can you catch in the winter, even with your eyes closed? A cold.
What did the tree say after a long, cold winter? What a re-leaf!
What do you call a ghost in the winter? Casp-brrr.
What did the icy road say to the car? Wanna to go for a spin?
What does a barbershop serve in winter? Cold cuts!
Why was the king penguin's wife so misunderstood? She was a total ice queen.
Winter Jokes for Kids
Who were the snowman's parents? Mom and popsicle!
What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrot?
What time is it when little white flakes fall outside the classroom window? Snow and Tell.
Why was the little snowman sad? Cause he had a meltdown.
Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot—you can catch cold pretty easily!
What do you call a play or musical in the North Pole? Snow business.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite!
What kind of math do Snowy Owls do best? Owlgebra.
What happened when an icicle landed on the girl's head? It knocked her out cold!
How does a North Pole carpenter fix something broken? Igloos it together.
How did the snow globe feel after listening to a scary story? A bit shaken up!
How do polar bears make their beds? With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Why did Princess Elsa fall off her sled? She let it go.
Why was the snowman rummaging through the bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.
Snow Jokes
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
What falls from great heights but doesn't hurt? Snow.
What kind of ball doesn't bounce? A snowball.
What did the investigator say to the snowman? Icy right through your lies.
How can you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for Fresh Prints!
What do you call a slow skier? A slopepoke!
What do you call a prom in the North Pole? A snow ball.
What's the best way to scare a snowman? Talk about global warming.
What does the snowman take when he's worried about melting? A chill pill.
How do you get a snow monster to go away? Get into a heated argument.
What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers.
How do you decorate a cake for a snowman? With lots of icing.
What is a snowman's favorite drink? Iced tea.
Where do snowmen keep their money? In snowbanks.
What do you call it when a snowman ignores you? The cold shoulder.
Why did the snowman go to the doctor? He was getting chills.
What is a snowman’s favorite snack? Ice Krispy Treats.
What do you call a snowman’s dog? A slush puppy!
Winter Dad Jokes
Why didn't the whistleblower go outside during the winter? He was Snowden.
What did the snowman say after losing its arm? I'm never playing fetch again!
Why did Dad stop using his loyalty card to scrape ice from his windshield? He only got 10% off.
What's an ig? A snow house without a loo!
What do you call an old snowman? Water.
What do you call a snowman with abs? An abdominal snowman.
What does a gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!
Why did the groom have cold feet? He went brrr-foot to the wedding!
What do mountains wear to stay warm? Snowcaps.
How does a snowman get to work? By icicle.
Why did the girl keep her trumpet out in the snow? She liked playing cool jazz.
How do you know when it’s too cold for a picnic? When you chip your tooth on the soup!
What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert? Lost.
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk.
What did the wool hat say to the scarf? You hang around while I go on ahead.
What does a Starbucks employee’s job title change to in winter? A brrrr-ista!
What did the police officer say when he saw the snowman stealing? Freeze!
Winter Knock Knock Jokes
"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Snow." "Snow who?" "This weather is snow joke!"
"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Ivan." "Ivan who?" "Ivan awful cold right now."
"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Icy." "Icy who?" "Icy you!"
"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Snow." "Snow who?" "Snow use telling, I can't remember!"
"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Atch." "Atch who?" "Bless you!"
"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Holly." "Holly who?" "Holly-days are back again!"
"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Gladys." "Gladys who?" "Gladys winter." "What about you?"
"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Freeze." "Freeze who?" "Freeze a jolly good fellow, freeze a jolly good fellow..."
"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Icy." "Icy who? "Icy a long cold winter coming!"
"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Snow." "Snow who?" "Snowbody home."
"Knock, knock!" "Who’s there?" "Lettuce." "Lettuce who?" "Lettuce in, it’s cold out!"
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