It's Okay to Sleep With the Boss

man and woman having glass of...

Women sleeping with their male bosses is a tale older than time, and I am sure that it takes place in just about every work environment; however, it seems to represent a predominant back story in the world of finance. When I first started working on the trading floor, I remember hearing numerous stories about the wives of the "big guys" on the floor and most of them started out as assistants and had now upgraded to CEO of the family household for the "big guy." In fact, one of my peers on the trading floor had an affair with our married boss while we worked together. The last I heard, though, the peer and the boss were now happily married.

Let me just get this out of the way, I do not judge people who sleep with their bosses or vice versa. We all have choices and it is not for me to judge someone's choices, I just wanted to share a few thoughts if you are someone who is sleeping with the boss or contemplating sleeping with the boss.

It's okay to sleep with the boss, but...

You Will Lose the Respect of Your Co-Workers
I don't care how smart, talented and successful you are in your company, the second that people find out that you have slept with or are sleeping with the boss, everything that you do will be viewed through that filter. Your co-workers will always wonder if your voice is one that they should respect or if they are only working with you because of your skills in the bedroom.
The peer of mine who slept with the boss was beautiful, but more than that she was incredibly intelligent and talented. I was always impressed with her work and her work ethic. I suspected she was sleeping with the boss long before it caught on; however, the second it was public knowledge; I heard grumblings throughout the group about her work. All of the sudden the quality work she was producing before was no longer valued. Instead of hearing praise about a spreadsheet she created or a project she worked on, all I heard about was the fact that she was sleeping with the boss.

If you are someone who wants to work hard for the respect and authority that you deserve, only to throw it away, then by all means, it's okay to sleep with your boss.

You Will Probably Lose Your Job
I do not care what promises he makes or what authority he has, a subordinate sleeping with a manager is just about the biggest HR issue imaginable. Even if the relationship is consensual, there is always the risk that the relationship turns sour and negative accusations arise that are not good for the boss, but certainly not good for the corporate reputation. When word got out of my peer's affair, I give the boss credit he tried to protect her. She was more than a fling to him; however, despite his authority, he could not save her. She was ultimately fired from the company and instead of a promising career in finance at 23 she was unemployed.

If you are someone who does not care about a long and fruitful career or explaining odd departures from your resume, then by all means, it's okay to sleep with your boss.

You May Get the Man, But Do You Want Him?
For some women, sleeping with the boss is a power trip, filled with excitement and intrigue. They really have no interest in a relationship with the boss outside of what they are doing from time to time. For other women, the boss represents their knight in shining armor. He is a leader to be admired. He inspires her and embodies everything she ever wanted in a man, power, intelligence, humor, and security. The first type of woman, can handle the ups and downs of sleeping with the boss. The other type will have a difficult time managing the two; however, I have seen this woman "win" the boss in the end many times. I am sure that she is happy to find the man of her dreams; however, from my experience, I think she will end up regretting what she wished for.

From my vantage point, a man who opens himself to one affair in the office is likely to open himself up to others in the future. Your beauty and appeal to him may fade as soon as you leave the office environment to join him in the home environment; however, his power will grow and there will always be a new woman on the scene to admire him.

If you don't mind sharing or acquiring a knight with dented armor, then by all means, it's okay to sleep with the boss.
Read Full Story