13 Things Every Florida Traveler Should Know (as Learned From Carl Hiaasen's Novels)

Clearwater Beach, FL
In Clearwater, Florida, even the birds know to always park in the shade. Photo: Getty.


For your Florida spring break, we're happy to share the best places to play with dolphins, or just where to relax with a Bloody Mary in hand. Check out our spring break crawls in Miami, Orlando, Key West and the Fort Myers area.

For additional insight for travelers to the Sunshine State, though, we defer to Carl Hiaasen. In 13 novels and more than 35 years as a journalist with the Miami Herald, Hiaasen has critiqued, chronicled and defended the sometimes strange and always intriguing culture of Florida.

Here are 13 things about Florida every traveler should know, as mined from some of his novels. Note: Some words below are not safe for work. Bold type has been added to the text for emphasis.