Cool Jobs: Scientist Needed for Mouse Creation
Could that person be you? That all depends. But why not take a look at some of this week's coolest jobs and get a few ideas flowing? No one deserves to get stuck in a job they hate, especially when there are so many openings for the repressed hackers and cheese masters of the world. Check 'em out!
What it is: Microinjection, if you haven't heard of it, is pretty much what it sounds like--using a medical pipette to inject liquids at the microscopic level (or near it). As this particular microinjectionist, though, you'll be working with genetically modified mice, or "GM," which are apparently so commonplace in this job that they warrant the use of an acronym. Duties include embryo transfer and DNA microinjection, both of which fall under the umbrella of "GM mouse creation." That's right: mouse creation. This is a skill you will have on your resume when you work here.
Who it's for: Mad scientists, people who want to create their own army of mouse super-soldiers
> Apply for a job as a microinjectionist
2. Music Festival Director, Sales
What it is: If you're anything like us, you probably stopped going to music festivals sometime in your mid-twenties. Too much standing, too many crowds, too many discarded, partially chewed burritos to step around. But if you're the kind of person who continues to brave the mongrel hordes in the name of your favorite band, you might be cut out for a career behind the scenes. Despite the long-ailing music industry, festivals like Bonnaroo and Coachella have remained highly profitable, so a strong sales department is essential for any large-scale performance.
Who it's for: Rockers for life
> Apply for a job as a music festival director
3. Fire Investigator
What it is: No, not firefighter--fire investigator. As in, someone who checks out the scorched remains and determines what, exactly, caused the flareup. In short, you're a fire detective, with all the investigative trappings that entails: from gathering evidence to analyzing the scene, you'll do it all. So stand back--this job is literally explosive.
Who it's for: Those with fire in their bellies (and the ability to document that fire comprehensively)
> Apply for a job as a fire investigator
4. Ice Cream Manufacturer
What it is: Graeter's, from Cincinnati, makes some of the best ice cream in the United States. They're famous for their chocolate chunks, which set the world standard for the popular mix-in, and have creative flavors like bourbon and blueberry pie. Here's your chance to join the Graeter's family, and learn the secrets behind their traditional "French pot" process. Just be prepared to have your friends beg you for free samples.
Who it's for: French pot-heads
> Apply for a job as an ice cream manufacturer
5. Pet Stylist
What it is: Is your puppy having a bad hair day? Did you wake up to find the cat sporting the cat equivalent of a mullet? If so, it might be time to take your pet to one of Petco's in-house stylists. These expert groomers run a kind of salon for our canine and feline companions, brushing, bathing and conditioning animals so they can hit the street in style. With or without the mullet.
Who it's for: Cat lovers who know their way around a catwalk
> Apply for a job as a pet stylist
6. Colony Planner
What it is: On the other end of the animal jobs spectrum, we have the colony planner, or the person who organizes and develops those broods of mice mentioned in Job Number One. This is a job for someone with a background in both animal husbandry and inventory management, who knows how to keep a colony of mutant super-mice humming along like...well, like a really well-run mutant super-mouse colony. It would also help to have a background in Mendelian genetics. No pressure, though.
Who it's for: People who miss their childhood ant farm
> Apply for a job as a colony planner
What it is: Everyone knows a wannabe sommelier. You know, that guy at the party who's always going on at length about the wine he's drinking, pontificating on its rich tannins and subtle notes of huckleberry. Real sommeliers, though, are true wine experts, with the knowledge to back up the jargon. There's nothing pretentious about knowing the best pairing for somebody's favorite dish, and as a sommelier at Las Vegas's Aria Resort, that's exactly what you'll be counted on to know.
Who it's for: Pinot-logists, anyone who's ever owned a wine refrigerator
> Apply for a job as a sommelier
8. Diver Technician, Le Rêve
What it is: Elsewhere in Vegas, the Wynn resort is famous for its show Le Rêve, a Cirque du Soleil-esque spectacle featuring daring tricks, elaborate costumes, and splashy water-based stunts. As a diver technician serving the show's aquatics department, you'll not only oversee all behind-the-scenes safety, you'll run show cues and even train the performers. Note: must be comfortable working around "strobe lighting, smoke effects, and live birds." You've been warned.
Who it's for: Water wizards
> Apply for a job as a diver technician
9. Head Sushi Chef
What it is: Did you ever watch that documentary Jiro Dreams of Sushi? If not, it's basically about a guy who dedicates his entire life to engineering sushi-based perfection, from selecting fish at its peak freshness to gently massaging the rolls to ensure the ideal texture. It's a little crazy, but also incredibly inspiring. If you love sushi with a similar singleminded passion, then check out this opening for a head sushi chef at a leading Boston restaurant. And yes, by "singleminded passion" we mean more than pounding Godzilla rolls on all-you-can-eat night.
Who it's for: Sushi dreamers
> Apply for a job as a head sushi chef
10. Digital Photographer, Apartments.com
What it is: Apartments.com offers comprehensive real estate listings in your zip code, with a friendlier interface and lower sketch factor than your local classified ads. While you won't be shooting apartments for the listings, you'll get to go one better, and capture images used in the site's nationwide ad campaigns. As a part-time gig, it's a great first step into the world of commercial photography.
Who it's for: Straight shooters, snappy types
> Apply for a job as a digital photographer