Summer Travel Odds: We Bet We Know What You'll be Doing this Year

summer minivan road trip

Now that Memorial Day has passed and you've had your first delicious taste of summer, we know what you're thinking: What other summer travel adventures await? Information about how summer travel season will shape up is still coming in, but we've diligently crunched the available numbers* and we're betting we have a pretty good sense of how things how things are going to go. Are you? These are your summer travel odds.
  • Odds you'll take a road trip: 7:5
  • Odds it will be a last-minute escape from the cicadas invading the East Coast: 4:1
  • Odds someone in the backseat will say "I have to go to the bathroom" one minute after you pass the sign that reads, Next Rest Stop: 52 miles: 7:5
  • Odds you'll stop at a remote gas station and buy a snack you'll regret eating: 4:1
  • Odds that snack will be some sort of "meat stick": 10:1
  • Odds you'll pay less for gas than you did last summer: 6:5
  • Odds you'll sing along with the most ubiquitous song of the summer on the car radio during your road trip: 2:5
  • Odds that the most ubiquitous song of the summer will feature Pitbull: 7:1
  • Odds you will arrive on the beach, unpack your bag and discover you forgot to pack your sunscreen: 5:1
  • Odds you'll travel to the drug store to buy a tub of aloe vera: 12:1
  • Odds you'll go somewhere simply because a sign told you it was free: 2:1
  • Odds you'll go somewhere simply because you've followed the smell of grilled food: 5:1
  • Odds that the grilled food will lead you to a summer festival: 7:1
  • Odds that a band at the summer festival will perform an ironic version of that Pitbull song you've already heard 57 times: 9:1
  • Odds you'll encounter an actual, real-live wild animal during your travels: 5:2
  • Odds that the wild animal will smell the scent of "meat stick" on you and chase you down: 250:1
  • Odds you'll cap at least one summer day with a bar or restaurant's signature drink: 3:2
  • Odds the name of the signature drink will be a pun: 4:1
  • Odds you'll daydream of drinking that signature drink at a beachside bar on an island: 2:1
  • Odds you'll actually spend some time on an island: 7:1
  • Odds that at some point you'll instead end up at a theme park: 5:2
  • Odds you'll ride the Dragon Twister roller coaster with your 11-year-old twins and feel queasy for three days: 5:1
  • Odds that the line for the Dragon Twister will be longer than the security line at the airport: 20:1
  • Odds you'll take off your shoes at the airport security checkpoint and sand from the beach will spill out: 12:1
  • Odds you'll pay more fees with your airfare than you did last summer: 2:5
  • Odds your flight home will be delayed due to the sequester: 500:1
  • Odds your flight home will be delayed due to thunderstorms: 3:2
  • Odds that Labor Day will be here before you know it and summer will be over, but you won't want it to end. Even if it means keeping that *%&$*#! Pitbull song stuck in your head: Guaranteed

*Disclaimer: By "crunching" these numbers we mean we pretty much made them up.

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