As #houseporn fiends and real estate junkies, there's nothing we love more than poring through fabulous home listings -- except maybe sorting through the tragically un-fabulous ones. They'll definitely make you laugh, and some of them could make you cry. Every week, AOL Real Estate brings you the sorriest listings we could find on the Internet to show you what you should never do when posting your home online. We very appropriately call it #listingfail.
A Bloody Good Deal
Tip No. 1: First of all, our deepest apologies if you're eating right now. But we should point out that if it looks like someone was murdered in your bathtub, your home isn't going to sell. Needless to say, a little Clorox and some elbow grease prior to taking that all-important listing shot will take your bathroom from "gross" to "great." ... Well, in this case, "good enough."
Tip No. 2: Don't you hate that there are some things you can never un-see? On that note, sellers, please refrain from taking any detail shots of your toilet. Quite frankly, unless it's made of 24-karat gold, nobody wants to see it. And if you do insist that a photograph of your toilet is somehow necessary to sell your home, then kindly flush it -- or risk flushing your entire listing down the drain.
Tip No. 3: We know you think your kids are cute, and perhaps they are. But there's no need to showcase their wall graffiti to potential buyers, particularly when they look more like drawings by a demon child. And after that bathroom massacre shot? This isn't helping anything.
See the original listing and more pictures of this, er, killer home below. (Is that poo in the sink?!). Note: As of yesterday, the listing shows that this place was sold! If you're the buyer, please identify yourself in the comments section below. We'd love to know what you were thinking!
Just a Little 'Elbow Grease'
Tip No. 4: Realtors love the terms "fixer-upper" and "needs a little TLC" to justify homes that look like they should be bulldozed. But let's get it straight: No matter how much cheerful-sounding broker babble you throw at potential buyers, it won't fool them into thinking that some scrubbing will turn this boarded-up baby around.
The listing for the Detroit home above says it just needs a little "elbow grease." Really? We think it needs a lot more. Like a roof. And windows. And a door, perhaps.
Ditto for this Jackson, Mich., home (above). No amount of elbow grease is going to fix those gaping holes--unless the elbows come attached to a contractor.
Likewise, we're not sure what's going on with the aluminum-foil siding of this forlorn-looking frame house in Cleveland (are the owners trying to bake it?), but we're pretty sure that "elbow grease" won't save it. See more photos of these "fixer-uppers" (cough, disasters, cough) below.
Caught on Camera
Tip No. 5: Unless you're a "Sports Illustrated" model, we strongly advise against showing your tush in your listing photo. Unless it's a hot tush -- and it comes with the home -- it's not going to help sell.
Sex sells -- when it's sexy, not kind of creepy. Please keep your private time private.
And thanks for suggesting that your place is pet-friendly, but Lassie can watch TV when you're not taking a photo that you plan on using to sell your home. See more listing-photo bombs below (courtesy of Hooked on Houses).
Don't let your home be a #listingfail! Take some pro advice from our home staging guides:
Home Staging Mistakes Sellers Should Avoid
Home Staging Tips for Every Season
Home Staging: Hire a Pro or Do It Yourself?
See more AOL Real Estate galleries:
Charming Homes You Can Score for 150,000
Best Beach Towns for Buying Foreclosures
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