Husband of 20 years is 'Fed Up with a FarmVille Fanatic'
His letter started off innocently enough, where his wife would choose to go online instead spending her usual evenings with him or the television. Later on, it gets worse, where 'Fed Up' claims that their "house is a disaster", his wife is too distracted to help out with chores, and he has taken matters into his own hands to get the game to stop working on his wife's computer. But instead of using the downtime as an excuse to stop playing, his wife used every means to get the game running again. The one line that indicates that his wife may have a problem is that "In a single day, she spent eight hours on this site. I've caught her online at 3 a.m."
I have to wonder if 'Fed Up' has ever considered playing FarmVille with his wife. Or jokingly ask him if she's demanded an Unwither Ring yet. He seems to be dealing with this problem rather passive-aggressively, and frankly, his wife just sounds bored of their routine. On top of that, Fed Up's secret sabotage attempts to "monitor, limit or block access" on her computer comes off as creepily excessive, when you consider the fact that she's an adult. There seems to be a lot more going on here than what we can see. After two decades of marriage, you'd think that he can talk something out. But we're also aware of how real addiction can be, and it's not just a problem with social games either, as Annie helpfully responds:
So what do you guys think is going on here? Did the husband cross the line with his admittedly "clandestine" monitoring? Is the wife addicted, or for the more imaginative of you out there, do you think she's using her addiction as an excuse to do other things online?Dear Fed Up: These online games encourage constant participation, and many provide virtual social communities. Your wife fears that if she stops playing for an extended period, she will lose out. She doesn't realize that she is already losing out - with you. Like any addiction, your wife may need professional help to stop. In the meantime, insist that she shut off the computer at a specified time each day. Plan dates that will interest her enough to get out of the house. She needs to get back into the real world.