Rental Roommate Nightmares: INS, Freaks, Non-Fat Guy, and Resume Services

Imagine the horrors of having the worst roommate known to humanity. It's a goal that's easy enough to achieve. All you've got to do is look on Craigslist, and it's all laid out right in front of you.

Today we have someone who might turn you into the INS, a non-fat guy, and a man who wants sex and to help you with your resume.

All this and more if you read on....

Atlanta:SLAVE for Free rent for male housekeeper!
I am a businessman & own properties...if you are undocumented...I will try to help...want to give someone a hand up who appreciates it.

Our Take: I will own you. You will have to sleep in a box in the basement or else I'll turn you into the INS.

Las Vegas:$1 Awsome rent exchange for right girl...

You also get:
- Professionally done resume (MS Word, PDF and Paper Copy)
- Professionally done cover letter and contact sheet
- Career search help and free internet )
- Can help start your business if that is what you need help with!

I get busy and don't really have time to go looking for a girlfriend. I love sex but without going out searching each night or paying for it, I just am not getting all that I want. Craigslist is filled with ads for scam artists and spammers and I just don't feel like dealing with it anymore. I need a friend for about a month (maybe more) that is really into benefits. As I said before I am really interested in helping someone that could use this opportunity and I will do my best to get you on your feet without you having to spend money you don't have.

Our Take: Hmmm? Free resume services and sex for rent. Sounds too good to be true. Where do I sign up?

Orange County, Calif.:any 18 year olds need a place?
Straight guy only, not fat

I'm older guy who enjoys the company of young people, not for sex

If you need a situation write me

no drugs, cigarettes, or alcohol

we can help each other and make a friend too

Our Take: As long as he's not fat, then it's OK. If this guy were fat, then all bets would be off.

Portland, Ore.:$400 Calling all freaks!
Fun, don't sit in your room all day, but no need to be best friends either. Be ok with nudity and sexual situations, and be open enough to get naked yourself haha! 420 ok, but not trying to make this a pot house lol. No drama, no bull sh**, and no thieves.

Bottom line is that we don't want prudes, we don't want uptight yuppie bible thumpers, and we don't want boundaries on how we display affection in our home. We have seen a lot of ads on here recently talking about bdsm and nudity and all sorts of sex it if you want to, or don't, we don't really care. Just be open and chill.

Our Take: Why set boundaries? Boundaries are for yuppie bible-thumpers. I hope you aren't a yuppie bible-thumper when it comes to watching your new roommates have sex -- always -- in the living room while you are trying to do your homework.

For more to keep you up at night, read other Rental Roommate Nightmare editions.

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