Rental Roommate Nightmares: Searching for Houseboys, Christian 'Mail' and 18-Year-Old Girls
Today we bring you potential roommates who want you to be their houseboy and work in your underwear, Christian households that want to make sure you're not a homosexual sex-offender, and a guy who is fed up with CRAZY people at work.
Read all this and more....
Raleigh, N.C.: $90 RE: share my large mobile home !!!
This crack head is full of shit!!! He only wants your $$$ for Rent. 2 Days into your rental, he will demand sex, and if you refuse, he will sexually assault you. His previous tenants were assaulted, and threatened by "The Equalizer." His last 3 tenants had to call the sheriff out to get the remainder of their belongings.
By the 3rd trip to Wal-mart that you take for him, he has already gone through all of your stuff, and knows what you have. He has a violent temper, and will relentlessly text you if you are gone longer than he thinks you should be.
Don't be fooled by his wheelchair, it's a front, he has no driver's license, and his gov't checks are usually gone by the 5th of each month (he gets paid to be a crack head on the 3rd of each month).
Karma has a funny way of working out, and soon enough he won't have a pot to piss in, or a window to throw it out of.
Our Take: This is a cautionary tale. I guess a lesson to be learned is to not move into a large mobile home with "The Equalizer." I hate roommates that use their wheelchairs as a front to go through your personal belongings while you're at Wal-Mart.
Sacramento, Calif.: Please Read
Hi i have a room im offering for free NO charge, I know you are thinking nothing in life is free and its true nothing in life is....
I would like to find someone between the age of 18 to 19 Female mature please, and clean, as well as friendly... Now before you jump to conclutions im NOT asking for Sex,drugs,love or anything close or even related to that...its nothing stupid or perverted please note that what you are reading is not a scam or a predator im offering this room for free,and there is a CATCH... I honestly dont think its a big deal or anything bad that will disturbe you from going on in your daily life.... If you decide to anwser to this ad and are serious.....If you are someone in need it will be better because i will know im doing a good deed...
PLEASE DONT BE A CRAZY PERSON I ALREADY DEAL WITH THAT AT WORK OR IF YOU ARE OVER 20 PLEASE DONT REFFERR TO THIS ADD IF YOU ARE NOSY AND JUST WANT TO KNOW THE CATCH JUST CALL OR TEXT AND SAY IM NOSY I WANT TO KNOW THE CATCH DONT WASTE MY TIME AND YOURS AND SIT THERE AND LIE PLEASE "LIFES TO SHORT FOR THAT"....
Our Take: Yes, this guy only wants 18 to 19 year old roommates. That's it. They just have to be mature. And clean. Sorry, no 20 year olds -- that's too old. God, I would love to hear what the CATCH is, that happens not to be a big deal and will allow an 18- or 19-year-old female to live rent-free. Thank god this guy is doing such a good deed. Too bad he kinda of snaps at the end and goes all-CAPS on us about all the crazy people he deals with at work. Again, no one over 20 please. Creepy.
Dallas, Texas: $360 or 90/wk & bills paid for a Non Smoking Christian Mail
360 a mounth or 90 a week a room in my house all bills paid.
Renter will need to be a NON SMOKING CHRISTIAN MALE no drugs,
no sex offenders,must be straight and must have own transportion & job.
Our Take: Spelling is not your new roommate's friend. This guy has simple needs: All he wants is a straight Christian who is not a sex offender. That's all. And go to HELL if you think he's going to drive you anywhere -- you got to have your own "transportion."
Miami, Fla.: House boy needed
House boy needed for house cleaning and property care. Room provided and nudity and option. NO SEX REQUESTED! We are a couple 35-45 in need of help around the house. Must be wiling to work in underwear and be dog friendly.
Please submit photo with face and we will reply with a photo then we will set up meeting. Again this is a no sex position just housing given in return for house help. Sirius inquires only.
Our Take: Finally a roommate scenario that makes sense. All I have to do is be someone's houseboy and work in my underwear. Except I wear Superman Underoos. Good thing I like dogs.
For more to keep you up at night, read other Rental Roommate Nightmare editions.