The Energizer Bunny, on auction? The questions keep going ... and going ...

WalletPop writer Zac Bissonnette tells us that the iconic Energizer Bunny is up for auction and expected to fetch at least $18,000. This has no doubt raised many questions, not only among possible bidders and pop culture mavens, but those who regarded the stuffed mechanical creature in shades as the visual equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. (He even made WalletPop's list of Most Annoying Corporate Mascots.) Allow me, a former pop culture correspondent for the Chicago Tribune, to set the record straight.

Q: I want to buy the Energizer bunny, then blow him up. How much explosives will I need?

A: Listed as 12.5" x 25" x 15", the Energizer Bunny is small enough that you don't need TNT or nitroglycerin to do the job. A well-timed leap from atop your couch, for example, would create a minimum of 10 kilograms per force meter, or 72.33 pounds per force foot. That should be enough to squash him. And if it isn't, well ... you know ... keep going, and going, and going.

Q: But I really want to blow him up. Bad. Those commercials annoyed me. How much explosives will I need?

A: Based on his size, four M-80 firecrackers, one tied to each limb, should render the bunny drawn and quartered. You will need a federal explosives license to obtain these.

But instead of spending upwards of $18,000 for the privilege of blowing up the real bunny, consider this more cost-effective alternative: Replay an Energizer Bunny ad on a cheap TV and shoot it with a Smith & Wesson .22 caliber rifle. In particular, the M&P15-22 is well-suited for a variety of recreational shooting applications.