Rental Roommate Nightmares: MMA Fighters, $0 Rooms, and Your New Husband

We have some real great Rental Rental Nightmares today. Take your pick. Do you want the MMA fighter who likes hot chicks and hot chicks who give oral sex, the foreign man who will give you free rent if you marry him, or the guy who hates you even before he's even met you.

Read on to find out the full scoop on true Rental Roommate Nightmares, courtesy of Craigslist.
Chicago, Il.:
offering free room - mutual agreement(females) (all)

I m offering a room for :
Single Female (Age 20-30),US citizen, no kids, who is willing to merry me for help(not sex or anything will be involved).
Marriage will last as much as your room will need! .

Our Take: As Yakov Smirnoff would say, "What a country!" It sounds like a crazy sitcom situation where you'd move in as a stranger, pretend to be this man's wife, and in the end find out you're really in love. Julia Roberts would play you.

Portland, Ore.:
$345 roomate wanted ! (foster & 74th)
im white... i am an MMA fighter... i occasionally have parties or just get real f*cked up(usually after fight parties). I train alot. Things I like: hot chicks, having sex with hot chicks, fighting, making money, receiving oral sex from hot chicks, 4X4 trucks, winning, being right... basically living my life...

Our Take:
Imagine the fun or you're MMA roommate getting really f*cked up after one of his fights and getting you in a headlock until you admit you're a big pussy. Imagine sitting around hearing all the stories about all the hot chicks that like to perform oral sex on your new roommate. Imagine your new roommate practicing his favorite passion of being right when it comes to him eating all your food during fight training.

San Francisco, Calif.:
$900 My perfect roommate (dreamlandia)
Are you them? Do you have any of the following traits?
never home? great cause I'm a homebody and I dont like feeling judged for not "getting out there".
Never use the kitchen? Good cause you never f*cking clean up after yourself when you do.
Work nights and weekends? Perfect I'm a 9-5 and I dont really wanna see you- even in passing.
No pets? I already got one lazy bitch around here I dont need another one suckin the bottom outta her alpo cans.
No Furniture? Good you couldnt fit it into my house anyway -yes its fully furnished no you cant put your sisters boyfriends shitty art in the living room or the hall or fuckin anywhere really.
Computer geek - great please do stay in your room drinking mountain dew eating take out and playing WOW and Secound Life till 4 in the morning - headphones on please I dont wanna hear your weird cyber furry sex shit.
So yeah if this is you-- and I know you're out there --drop me a line I'm great roommate.

Our Take: Is this guy going for the world's record of as many red flags he can raise in a single Craigslist ad? I don't know if swearing in your Craigslist ad really help your case that you're a good roommate. It's almost like someone dared him to write the worst Craigslist roommate ad ever.

San Francisco Bay, Calif.:
$250 half of shared room in Fremont, for LGBT-ok Females/couples (fremont / union city / newark)
It's a wonderfully friendly, openly intimately sharing & supportive HOME!
Positive Spirituality.As I said, "anything goes": public sex w/ b/f, nudity, ANYthing.
It's about 10x11; plenty of empty space; 1 shared bed.
You can pay anything you want: <$0 to >$1000 You get what you pay for ;-)

Our Take: I think the MMA guy and this person should hook up together to be the funniest roommate combination ever. If I had the choice of paying $0 or $1,000 I think I'd take $0 because this would be my nightmare if I moved in.

For more to keep you up at night, read other Craigslist Rental Roommate Nightmare editions.
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