Earlier this year, my colleague Sam Gustin offered readers 10 reasons why they should hate the not-yet-unveiled Apple (AAPL) iPad. But now we have seen it, and as we approach the April 3 release date for the $499 to $699 device that Apple modestly dubs "magical and revolutionary," the ultra-super-mega nerds of the world are no doubt rejoicing.
Now, some of you may be thinking, "Gee, Mr. DailyFinance columnist: My friends, family and fellow World of Warcraft guild members all say that I'm pretty nerdy. But how do I know if I am ultra-super-mega-nerdy enough to deserve one of the first iPads?" Well, this practically foolproof quiz I have developed should help you answer that question:
Do you have a personal blog, website, Twitter or Facebook account? (10 points) Do your small children or pets have them? (50 points each)
Do you use jargon like "user interface" or "first-mover advantage" in everyday conversation with little prompting? (50 points)
Can you name a CNET writer? (10 points) Do you think the "Genius Bar" at the Apple Store is ironically named? (50 points)
Have responded to at least five tech-blog posts in the past month? (50 points)
Were you among the first to buy the iPhone or iPod? (50 points, or 100 points if you camped out) Did you buy a new device when the upgrades came out? (add 100 points)
Are you able to wax poetic about the iPad's beauty even as non-nerds look confused? (50 points)
Does the hair on the back of your neck stand up if anyone ever says or writes anything that is the tiniest bit critical of Apple or its mercurial CEO, Steve Jobs? (500 points)
Apple says the iPad is 0.5 inches thick and weighs just 1.5 pounds -- thinner and lighter than any laptop or netbook -- and delivers battery life of up to 10 hours. Do you consider those to be reasons enough to buy an iPad? (100 points)
A minimum score of 650 on the ultra-super-mega-nerdiness scale should be a prerequisite for buying an iPad in April. If you score lower, you're just not technologically adventurous enough: Let the real nerds go first, and follow them later if the iPad proves that it isn't Apple's answer to the BetaMax, Microsoft Corp.'s (MSFT) Vista or Apple's own Lisa. Jobs, of course, argues that no one will want to be without an iPad. And to get the word out, Apple purchased some prime ad time during the Oscars broadcast Sunday for the iPad's commercial debut.
"We're excited for customers to get their hands on this magical and revolutionary product and connect with their apps and content in a more intimate, intuitive and fun way than ever before," he says in a press release.
Odds are, he'll say the same thing about the next iPad or Apple gizmo.