Craigslist Roommate Nightmares: Chicago Edition

We have a fun Craigslist Roommate Nightmares this week. What you'll find is a roommate who really wants his mommy; a Scientology startup; roommates with benefits; and a guy who is sick of staring at dudes and dogs.

All this and more with this week's Craigslist Roommate Nightmares.
The Ad:


Now before you go ahead and hate on me let me explain. This is NOTHING sexual, just tired of looking at dudes and dogs. I am looking for a hot or above average female that has a good work history, a steady source of income, one that can pay rent ON TIME and doesnt mind being 'checked out' while walking around here or whatever. I am a good looking, 40's male, laid back, clean, very open minded, honest and RESPECTFUL. No I am not some kind of sex crazied perv, but yes, I do like to look at pretty women. What straight man doesnt? At least I am honest right? I do prefer younger but as long as you fit the above criteria. Now if you want to send hate mail go ahead if it makes you feel better. LOL Thanks and have a great day!!

Our Take:

How can I hate my new roommate. It's understandable. I, too, get tired of looking at dudes and dogs. He's not asking too much, he simply wants a hot or above average female. But most of all he wants this hot or above average female to pay her rent ON TIME. I'm sure you'll have to share the cleaning duties, but don't mind when your new roommate checks you out to the point of discomfort while you clean. How can one possibly hate this guy?

The Ad:

30's single white male seeking a cool, laidback, openminded female roomie between 21 and 55 to share house, includes full house privileges and all utilities, free high speed internet and cable. Looking for long term roommate with benefits situation. Please tell me about yourself in detail, occupation and send a picture to be considered. Room is available now.

Our Take:
Hmm, "roommate with benefits situation." Does that mean I don't have to do the cleaning? I better send a photo quick in order to be considered.

The Ad:
$350 Mature Female Roomie Wanted Asap (waukegan,IL)
wanted mature submissive female to share a furn apt with male dom 50,5'11,175,dd close to metra northline.
pace, gurnee mills, shopping, no pets, no credit inc parking,shared bathroom,kitchen, move in today

no pets, no credit check, inc washer,dryer,parking,wireless int, shared bathroom,

Our Take:
Mommy! Mommy! Your new roommate is looking for his mommy--a mommy who wouldn't require a credit check.

The Ad:

collective in humboldt is looking for a new soul. (humbolt park)

we live in an olde ballroom/union hall which over-looks the northwest corner of humboldt park. we are all creatives/activists/free-thinkers of one sort or another, very vegan/vegetarian friendly but don't appreciate militaristic ideologies no matter how legitimate the reasoning. we have a weekly meeting which ends up in our eating and making zines and things together, weekly chores to keep us all sane, and we have been putting $20 to a staples fund for a while now to keep olive oil, peanut butter, toilet paper, and other things on our shelves. we appreciate the ability to help glean food for the whole of the house, as well as a true community consciousness, stripped of abundant ego but rich with grace and good will to people over-all. we have close ties to other activist or art houses or organizations around the city, and seek out purpose over party.

Our Take:
Is this a Fight Club? This is how a Fight Club gets started, or Scientology? Will they want you to buy books and take courses once you move in to help you understand the Planet Xenu? We all evolved from volcanoes, you know,

Want more to keep you up at night? Read other Craiglist Roommate Nightmare editions.
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