Want a Job? Oh, Just Be Perfect

It's not enough that you're out of a job when almost no one is hiring, nor that an average of 1 out of the 50 potential employers you send your résumé to weekly seems to even look at it, much less call to offer you an interview.

Apparently the vast numbers of unemployed folks out there to choose from have made employers so picky you need to be a mind-reading, impeccably groomed (but not too impeccable!), blemish-and-lisp-free magna cum laude graduate of charm school if you expect anything even close to a job. Oh yeah, and don't even think about asking for more money.