5 Things Congress Can Learn From the "Real World: D.C."

Watch out politicos, MTV's "Real World" is returning, and this time they're in your town. Yes, Washington D.C is the latest "hip" locale for the house filled with mismatched 20-somethings all vying for their cliché 15-minutes of fame (or drunken embarrassment). The current crew will be living in an unbelievable fantasy house set in the prime Dupont neighborhood: 2000 S Street NW to be exact. Only on the Real World could these kids live in a house so extravagant.

Watching the show's premiere last night, I started to wonder what we can learn from the "Real World: Washington D.C." as they party their way through the stomping grounds of Obama and the White House. The truth behind closed doors in Washington is far more exciting than the contrived "reality" they try to play out with the cast on the MTV show.

I doubt we'll see a blond bimbo from San Diego hooking up with a Senator who coaxed her to be his staff intern. Or better yet, the entire Real World crew crashing a White House dinner, claiming to be on the guest list.

Since it seems that the tired formula, which is "Real World," can't take much from the real drama that unfolds daily in Washington, then what can Congress learn from the "Real World"? I wondered ...

Thus, here are 5 things Congress can learn from the Real World:

1. Put Congress Under the Same Competitive Darwinism as Reality Show Participants

Like on the "Real World," why not put Congress under the same rules as those who completely screw up on reality TV? That's right; if a member of Congress gets caught hiring a stable of prostitutes or leaves sexually explicit messages on a teenage House page's voicemail, immediately vote their ass out of the house.

2. Keep Things Above Board By Having Their Lives Taped

We want to trust our lawmakers so why not film their lives 24/7. They are supposed to be working for us, why not make their lives like a fish in an aquarium? We want to see it all: the sex, boozy fights, screaming, and the summoning of ambulances. Then, say, if they start shooting down the health care plan, we'll know the exact where THAT insanity spawned from.

3. Let Popular Sentiment Rule

Yes, let the public decide who on Capital Hill is doing a good job and actually voicing our opinions, rather than just doing a song-and-dance to get reelected or to appease special interest groups. We should award our members of Congress who actually push through the bills that are important to us with a big cash prizes and an all-expense-paid vacation to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. They will truly become the big winner of the House.

4. Go for the "Real World" Decor

The "Real World" has always been about living in the ultimate fantasy house. Have you seen some of these places they've let college kids call home over the past 20-some seasons on MTV?

They wouldn't let the cast of the "Real World" live in a house with rotten drywall, therefore why should we let congress live in a House financed on fumes? Why not fix up the House of Representatives to resemble the most kick-ass "Real World" house of all time? Let's put in that Jacuzzi, snow-cone machine, and pool table so liberal and conservative lawmakers can be more at ease with each other and actually work together to get things done!

5. More Eye Candy
Finally, yes more eye-candy in Congress. Come'on. Sure I agree with the policies of Rep. Barney Frank, but he's never going to make the pages of Maxim.
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