Our 12 preposterous days of Christmas gift suggestions
1. Black Bar Glasses
As soon as the holidays are over, young people start planning for that mid-winter getaway to someplace with sun, sand and sexy par-tays. Save your fav from having his or her reputation besmirched when an unfortunate cell-phone-recorded party video hits YouTube by giving the gift of anonymity: Black Bar Glasses. Price: $11.26
2. Feline Tree House
The recession may have forced some of us to cut back on presents for the kids, but why should our cats suffer? Any real feline-lover wouldn't think twice about dropping $875 for Hammacher Schlemmer's feline tree house. Shaker shingles! Cedar shutters! A real dragonwood tree, harvested from a sustainable forest! Your cat will be so impressed, it might stay awake for all of five minutes on Christmas morning.
3. Condiment Gun
In the land of the Second Amendment, Americans shouldn't be limited to boring catsup bottles and mustard jars. The folks at Firebox.com offer the perfect condiment container for the gun lover; the Condiment Gun. This nifty device is perfect for laying down a little friendly fire on those dogs and brats at next summer's cookouts. Not available in the U.S. but for sale in the U.K. for $24.09.
4. Hanging Man Florescent Lamp Pull
In the era of vampires and zombies, the macabre has become fashionable, so why not delight the Goth on your list with this cute hanging man light pull? It even glows in the dark to help them find their beds in the dark, but not brightly enough to scare away any hunky vamps that might be lurking nearby. Price: $11.99
The holidays bring us numerous opportunities to indulge in that most common of addictions, batter-licking. Cakes, cookies and pastries all taste better pre-cooked and straight from the bowl, so why be shy? The whimsical Batterfinger, a spatula in the shape of a finger, honors your passion while helping you maintain a little dignity. Price: $8.
Mama always told us to eat our fruit, but who has time to down an apple or pear during the holidays? You do. With the ShotCarver you can carve a hole the shape and size of a shot-glass into any firm fruit that will hold your favorite liquor. And if you fill the shot "glass" with cherry schnapps and consume the whole package, it could count as two fruit servings! Mom would be so proud. Price: $11.99.
7. Personal Urns
You know your children behave better when your eyes are on them, but who will be there to keep them in line after you're gone? It could be...you. Cremations Solutions will create a bust of your head with a hollow space inside to hold your cremated remains, perfect for the mantle in your children's home or atop their Christmas tree. Price: $2,600 for full-sized, $600 for keepsake size.
8. The Kush Pillow
Do the buxom on your list have trouble sleeping on their side because those parts of them that are lifted and separated during the day give way at night to gravitational pull? Then the gift of a Kush pillow, that nestles in between to give support and comfort, might be the key to their peaceful trip to dreamland. You, too, will rest easy knowing they'll think of you with fondness at least once every evening. Price: $24.99
Does your dog love to run and jump, but you love to sit and sip? Then the JumBubbler might be the perfect gift for your pooch. Just turn it on and it blows large, colorful, chicken-scented bubbles! What carnivore could resist chasing down bubbles that smell like meat? Price: $24.95.
10. Sippin' Seat
Save your friends heading off to a New Year's Day bowl game the cost of stadium refreshment and the embarrassment of getting caught smuggling in some cheer-enhancer with the Sippin' Seat. The Sippin' Seat contains a hidden bladder that will hold an entire bottle's worth of wine, or two beers, or 20 shots of high-test. Price: $29.99.
11. Scan-it Operation Checkpoint Toy X-Ray
Adults who have flown since 9/11 know how much fun it is to go through the security checkpoint at the airport. Why not share that delight with your youngsters? They too can have hours of fun scanning baggage, waving wands, appropriating nail files and rousting anyone who dares wear their shoes in the airport, thanks to the Scan-it Operation Checkpoint Toy X-Ray. There is no cavity search kit, though. Price: $29.95.
12. Clocky moving alarm clock
Don't you hate waiting on Christmas morning for Mom and Dad to wake up? The Clocky could be the perfect solution to this problem. After one snooze cycle, this little alarm clock with wheels will start scurrying around the bedroom as it goes off, forcing the sleepyheads to chase it down instead of slipping back to sleep. Time to open presents! Price: $49.99.