How the Grinch Stole Google News

(With our sincere
apologies to Dr. Seuss)

Every Who down in Whoville liked Google a lot,
But the Grinch, who lived up
in a penthouse, did not.
The Grinch hated Google, didn't find
Google pleasin' --
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his views were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

Whatever the reason, his heart or his views,
He came forth this autumn to tear down Google News,
Staring down from his suite with that cocked Aussie frown
At the warm lighted windows all over downtown.
For he knew every Who down in Whoville beneath
Was Googling gifts and cheap holiday wreaths.
"Now they're Googling stock picks!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow's Black Friday! It's practically here!"

Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I must find some way to stop Google from running!"
For tomorrow, he knew, all the Who girls and boys
Would wake bright and early to rush out and buy toys!
And then! Oh, the news, news, news, news!
That's one thing he hated! Google News, Google News!