Do moustachioed men really make more moolah?

According to a story by Reuters Friday, a recent study determined that moustache-wearers earn 4.3 percent more than their clean-shaven compatriots. The survey -- which claimed to have randomly sampled 2,000 moustachioed men, 2,000 bearded men and 2,000 fully-shaved men -- went on to assert that those with hairy lips also tended to spend 11 percent more and saved 3 percent less than their bearded and barefaced brethren.

As the proud owner of a handlebar moustache, I would love it if this story were true. Unfortunately, the study appears to be a joke. It was commissioned by the American Mustache Institute, a tongue-in-cheek advocacy group tasked with "protecting the rights of, and fighting discrimination against, moustached Americans by promoting the growth, care, and culture of the moustache." Even ignoring the study's occasionally bizarre assertions, there doesn't seem to be any evidence to corroborate the existence of principle researcher Hans Menjou-Bärtchen, or his company, "Menjou-Bärtchen Research Consultants."