Madoff's mistress: Too much information about not enough endowment

Although it won't be released until next Tuesday, Cheryl Weinstein's already notorious memoir Madoff's Other Secret: Love, Money, Bernie, and Meis sure to take its place on the shelf among such other literary memoirs of lust, wealth, and power as Clinton mistress Gennifer Flowers's Passion & Betrayal and ex-Trump Marla Maples's All That Glitters is Not Gold.

The media have been having fun disclosing plenty of details -- make that too many details -- from Weinstein's book. The takeaway seems to be that, in addition to being history's greatest swindler, Bernard Madoff is quite a lover and weirdo.

Madoff, 71, may have been a sociopath, but he had a tender side. Unfortunately, the one-time CFO of the Jewish charity Hadassah seems to have graduated from the Sidney Sheldon School of Schlock. She apparently believes it was absolutely vital to report that Madoff was not "well-endowed." (Perhaps he argued that size didn't matter in non-financial matters.) Still, this excerpt from Bloomberg News is painful.

"There was a gentle shyness about Bernie that I found endearing," Weinstein wrote. "And probably most enchanting was the way he made me feel. With Bernie I always felt wanted, desired, and that was an empowering sensation. During the past few months, the thrill -- the buzz -- of sexual tension had only gotten stronger."

Oy vey. The romance eventually cooled -- Weinstein decided that Madoff probably suffered from Tourette's syndrome or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Proving that he was a riot at parties, the financier numbered his suits so as not to mix them up. He also carried his money in a paper clip.

Weinstein and Madoff eventually ended their affair but remained good "friends" -- if the term "friends" includes anyone whose family and whose employer you've pinched for many millions of dollars. Hadassah alone lost an astonishing $90 million. Madoff gave her, along with his other victims, fantastic returns.

About a month after Madoff's arrest, Weinstein told her husband and adult son about the affair. Bloomberg reports that Weinstein does not disclose how much money she lost from her former lover. She remains married to her husband.

About the only thing left untold in the Weinstein-Madoff affair is who will buy the TV movie rights to the story. Don't count out Lifetime, which set the standard for tawdry memoirs with its epic on Amy Fisher with 1993's Casualties of Love: The Long Island Lolita Story.
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