'Pleasure yourself' with a 'chocolate finger' Fling: Ewww.

The double entendre is so thick, it's triple.

A threesome? You see, we can't help ourselves. Because Mars' new "Fling" -- the first new chocolate bar the company has introduced in 20 years -- is just dripping with sexual innuendo. What's a word more in-your-face than "innuendo"? Outuendo?

The commentators at NPR go for "creepy." The problem doesn't lie in just in the ads, which seem to depict strangers having sex in a dressing room (they're actually in adjacent dressing rooms and the woman is only eating chocolate). Nor is it wrapped up in the "pleasure yourself" messaging or the "naughty, but not that naughty" tagline. No. It's right there in the description of the candy as "chocolate fingers."

As Lisa Johnson, co-author of a book on marketing to women, says: calling it a "finger" takes your mind somewhere else entirely (for me, 10th grade, when I was horrified to learned what the verb form of the word was in teenage vernacular). She says, it's just like your sweet old uncle who starts asking you weird questions.

I say, it's like being a 10th grade goody-goody and suddenly questioning a bunch of once innocent-seeming phrases uttered by your classmates. I mean, a whole ingredients list worth of double meanings, from "chocolate" to "sugar." And do you know what? That packaging looks to me like a feminine hygiene product. Whoa, pink overload.

This product's marketing is wrong, all wrong, and whoever developed it should be sent back to the 10th grade. We may love chocolate but we don't make love with chocolate. Honestly.