Norway's success in socialism has me turning red with envy

If this were the 1950s, I'd be about to be put on every blackball list in town. Because I'm cuckoo for those Socialist cocoa puffs after reading this piece on Norway's success with the "cradle-to-grave welfare state."

Bring on the 12-month paid maternity leaves, the all-access-pass to nationalized health care. Because while capitalism was showing America who's your daddy (in our country, he who has the least morals and the most hunger, laughs all the way to his weekend house in the Hamptons), Norway's socialist finance minister was smugly buying our companies' depressed stock. The country has a cushy 11% budget surplus, zero national debt, and an economy that grew 3% last year while Uncle Sam was dancing a jig into a 12.9% deficit, $11 trillion in debt, and the Recession we now all know and love.

These statistics have me turning red with socialist envy.