I'm a desperate ratings ploy ... and you're not: NBC spins off SNL's "Weekend Update"

Imaginary transcript from NBC's "Weekend Update," Season 1, Episode 1:



Announcer:From Studio 8H in Rockefeller Center, it's "Weekend Update," with Team WalletPop!

[Cheers and applause]


Hello, we're WalletPop, and here's tonight's top story:

The New York Times reports that NBC will spin off Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update" segment, hosted by SNL head writer Seth Meyers, into as many as 13 half-hour prime-time specials in the fall.

[Applause]


NBC's move comes in a heated season of rivalry among the big four networks and pre-empts Fox's anticipated announcement this week that it will hire Billy Mays to host a series of one-hour Slanket infomercials.

[Cheers, applause]