Arms dealer goes Bollywood, probably won't do boffo boxoffice

Hoping to follow the success of the Oscar-winning film "Slumdog Millionaire," an Israeli arms dealer is trying to win an arms contract in India with a YouTube video that is so bad it has to be seen to be appreciated, or at least scorned.

Here's the video:

The dancers clearly aren't from India and the lyrics about love and the missile contractor, Rafael, are so lame and unsexy that the cheap imitation of a Bollywood video is laughable.

As the Times of London reported last week on its Web site, the chorus of "dinga dinga dinga dee," repeated over and over is a letdown, as are the constant coded references to the importance of military hardware in all of the verses. Deadly missiles aren't romantic, no matter how much you try to dress them up in glitter and gold lame thread.

"What more can I pledge to make a future strong?" the man sings.

"I need to feel safe and sheltered," the woman sings back.

Weak. Maybe India will take pity on Rafael and buy the missiles. Or better, maybe someone in India will make a reply video and post that online.