Jenny, go buy that number: 867-5309 can be yours for a song

Times being what they are, people are taking a long hard look around the garage to see what kind of unwanted stuff they could sell off. A few people, though, are looking beyond old books and CDs.

Mike Jones, the escort who ruined preacher Ted Haggard by exposing their meth-fueled gay dalliances together, is trying to make his own ends meet by hawking a truly awful painting of himself on eBay. The artwork is of a much more muscular Mr. Jones fondling himself in a jockstrap, which Jones describes as, "a portrait of myself that I was hoping to keep as a reminder as I reach my golden years in my life, to remind me of what I used to look like. Bids started at $50 and are currently at $200 (don't click on that one if there are children--or people with taste--in the room).

I can understand if you don't want to own a reminder of anyone's decaying self-image, especially if you already have a Velvet Elvis, but what would you say to owning one of the most memorable phone numbers in America? The number 867-5309, made infamous by the insidiously catchy 1982 song by Tommy Tutone, is up for grabs. If you're of a certain age, that number is burned forever into your frontal lobe.

"The minute we plugged the phone jack into the wall, it began ringing," said its seller, Spencer Potter, a New Jersey DJ who obtained it on a lark. Hard to imagine that could ever grow old, yet five years later, he decided to sell off the number's assignment in order to make a buck.