The great bank robber Willie Sutton was famous for replying when a reporter asked him why he robbed banks, "Because that's where the money is." While Sutton's somewhat surreal morality certainly underlies much of the humor in that statement, there is also much to be said for its almost childlike simplicity. After all, what could be clearer? One goes to banks because that's where the money is!
With that in mind, I was particularly interested in the recent story of a little boy in Beaumont, Texas who woke up at 3 AM, unlocked his front door, snuck across the street, broke into a Family Dollar discount store, and proceeded to get down to some serious playing. When the police arrived shortly thereafter, he began showing them his toys.
When I heard this story, I was torn between a reflexive "Oh my God, how CUTE!" and a sense of terror. After all, my daughter is only a year younger than this tot, and she probably knows how to walk to the nearby toy stores. What's more, while she can't quite reach the deadbolt on our door, I have no doubt that, if sufficiently inspired, she'd probably find a way to flip it.
In the case of the boy from Beaumont, child protective services have placed him with his extended family while they investigate the incident. In the meantime, check out the video below for the surveillance footage. Here's hoping that this situation resolves itself and the boy and his family have a very merry holiday!
Bruce Watson is a freelance writer, blogger, and all-around cheapskate. He is currently contemplating duct taping his daughter into her bed, but fears that that might be a little excessive.
Embedded video from CNN Video