Can you put a price on a faked orgasm? How about $5 million?

He's your guy
When stocks are high,
But beware when they start to descend.
It's then that those louses
Go back to their spouses.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Although it's been over 55 years since Marilyn Monroe sashayed her way through "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend," the diamond industry's message has remained pretty consistent: a man's love is measured by the amount of compressed carbon that he buys for his lady friend. With dramatic music, excited expressions, and other tantalizing tricks, diamond commercials heavily hint that the secret to an active sex life lies in tasteful jewelry.

Under the circumstances, one may easily wonder why jewelry companies don't go the last few steps and just make the claim that diamonds are a cool carbon aphrodesiac.