This new pizza box makes a lazy habit seem 'green.' Cool!

I'll beat you to the joke: It's such a perfect marriage of junk food and environmentalism, I'm surprised Al Gore didn't think of it first.

Introducing a regular-looking pizza box with a special touch. The difference is that the box can come apart once it's delivered by your local pie dealer. While it starts out the size of a standard pizza box, customers can break the platter-size square into four plate-size sections using scoring and perforations.

Voila--a trashy dinner service for four, with no wasting water or soap on dishes after. I guess that sorta makes this box "green," as the manufacturer claims. If annual pizza consumption numbers in the billions, as some theorize (though of course, some must be served on plates in restaurants), sure, this could have some effect if everyone used it. Okay, maybe the "green" angle is a slight stretch, but it's also true that no trees died for the box, either. It's made from 100% recycled material, which presumably can be recycled again after supper. Every little bit helps, right?

Using a pizza box as a dinner plate is nothing new to chore-challenged college students, who have been doing it for generations. We used to think of eating out of the box as lazy. Turns out it's good for Mother Earth. Eat pizza out of the box, be a slob. Do it to save water, be a hero. (But it's a good thing no one told my college roommate that never washing his bedsheets was also good for the planet.)

I think this could be a hot idea: Boost environmentalism by encouraging our laziness. What other ghetto-fabulous improvisations do we take for granted that can be turned into eco-friendly opportunities to make some real green when we decide to designate them "green"?

But this pizza box, which actually has it uses, has nothing on the U.S. Postal Service's miraculous naming abilities. Its Priority Mail service uses uses a Flat Rate Box that promises to not only eliminate waste, but to also do away with the whole idea of it. The box has small print praising itself as "an innovative vision of ecologically-intelligent design that eliminates the concept of waste."

That wording also lays waste to the concepts of good grammar and proper usage. I've used the box and I can still conceive of waste, and I also can see a flagrant squandering of precious hyphens. Maybe Al can take up that battle later, after the munchies pass.

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