Need money for your college education? Try selling off your virginity!

Last week, Natalie Dylan (not her real name) announced that she was auctioning off her virginity to raise money for her college education.

The 22-year old Women's Studies major has already received her BA from Sacramento State, but is now looking to finance her Master's degree. After debunking reports that he was going to be the Master of Ceremonies at the auction, Howard Stern stated that he had invited Ms. Dylan to appear on his show. Regardless, Stern's involvement has only been the latest twist in what has become a flashpoint for conservative social commentators.

The auction will be held on Tuesday, September 16, at Nevada's Bunny Ranch, a legally licensed brothel, and participants are encouraged to bid online. Ms. Dylan has stated that she will not surrender her virtue to any random wealthy man who contracts with her; rather, she will continue to accept bids until she finds a suitor with whom she shares "chemistry." The sad truth, however, is that her Cinderella fantasies will probably dissolve in the face of an amoral Russian oil magnate with very deep pockets.