Absurd product warnings: Are we really that dumb?

hot coffeeWarning: Do not use this blog post as a resume or a grocery list.

Yes, it has gotten that far out of hand. Products in all categories, and from every known country, now carry warning labels which might cause you to wonder if we humans still have any brains at all. Take for instance the Italian motorcycle manufacturer that feels the need to inform consumers that its motorcycles contain no edible parts. Better yet, my friend emailed me about a chain saw manufacturer which warns against stopping its saw blade with your genitals. That's been a big problem, you know.

I'm not sure if it's a symptom of our degrading mental capacities or just a spin-off from decades of predatory litigation which thrives on things like the ignorance of the fact that coffee is served steaming hot. I suppose I can see the value in being instructed not to use a clothing iron to iron clothes which I'm currently wearing, but do I really need to be warned that a sleeping aid may cause drowsiness?

I'm pleased that a manufacturer of children's cold medicine is instructing parents not to let their tykes operate heavy equipment while under the influence of its product. God knows we've had enough crane accidents at the hands of preschoolers this year. I'm just wondering how long it will be before hospitals are required to place a warning label on the foreheads of newborn babies stating: The contents of this package may some day grow up to become a brainless adult.

The whole concept can be summed up with this one warning, which you will find in slight variations, on almost any product you can buy these days. It reads: This product is not guaranteed as intended for any particular purpose and the purchaser accepts full responsibility for its use or misuse.

I'm glad that the manufacturers have their butts covered so well, seeing as we humans have all become so very thoughtless. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go remove my crystal punch bowl from the clothes dryer. It was very noisy at first, but it's gotten much quieter in there. It must be dry now.
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