2 Eddie Bauer Flasks, $5 + shipping
Luckily The Sportsman's Guide is offering 2 7 ounce Eddie Bauer flasks for $5 with the code SB114. Shipping is another $5.49, but that's still a hefty savings off the $30 sticker price.
And with the "Eddie Bauer" label emblazoned on the front, you won't look too pathetic. It's better than "Faded Glory."