Dear neighbor: Thanks for the magazines!
I can only speculate about why Michael doesn't even bother reading his magazines. Perhaps they were a gift that he didn't want. Perhaps he gets multiple copies because of some clerical error. Or maybe he has a new live-in girlfriend, and admitting that he actually spends money to keep up to date on celebrity news would make him feel like less of a man. Whatever the reason, I get both magazines at 100% off the weekly newsstand price of $7.98 -- plus the fistful of change I'll get for writing this post.
If you live in a big building, it might be worth a quick -- and discrete -- look through the recycling by the mailboxes every once in awhile. And I have a request for the USPS: each post office should include a magazine rack where people can place anything that they receive but don't want.
OK, I'm going back to reading "Britney & Jamie Lynn at Home: OK World Exclusive!"