Preposterous products: Kid's book about Mom's boob job

Michael Salzhauer, a Florida plastic surgeon and father of four, recently sat down to address a nagging question; how do mommies explain to their four to seven year old children how she suddenly gained three cup sizes or lost those well-earned worry lines? His answer? A picture book, of course.

My Beautiful Mommy, which Salzhauer paid to have printed, explains to the youngsters all about Mommy's new boobs, button nose and lipoed derriere. According to aPARENTly Speaking, the poor, frumpy mother explains that "As I got older, my body stretched and I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore." The theme? "Mommy won't be different, just prettier!" Can't you just picture her daughter, so very eager to grow up so she can start visiting Dr. Michael just like Mommy?

The book is available from Big Tent Books for only $19.95. If you find yourself tempted to order, perhaps you should donate your organs to science instead. Now.