The newest caffeine delivery system - hyper by the bowl full

Tom Barlow
Updated

Coke and Pepsi have finished the job Starbuck's started, convincing the American public that without caffeine we will fall victim to entropy. What about those of us who don't care for coffee, tea or soft drinks? Are we to be left in the dust like a three-toed sloth in the Preakness?

Not any more. The people at ThinkGeek have come up with a breakfast solution, Captain Buzz's Spazztroids. This caffeine-enhanced cereal packs the punch of a cup and a half of Starbuck's best in every bowl. The 180 mg. of 'eine is enough to jumpstart even the most lethargic teenager. And Mikey, who doesn't like anything? They had to scrape him off the ceiling.

There is no truth to the rumor that the company is developing other cereals to join Spazztroids. These do not include-

  • Crack 'n Oat Bran

  • Sugar Smack

  • 40% Weed Flakes

  • Special-X

  • Glue Berry

  • Cocaine Krispies

  • Toot Loops

  • Loco Puffs

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