The next great insurance industry coup: Rapture Insurance


Among the followers of Christianity there is a belief that prior to the apocalyptic end of the world, a majority of the believers shall be taken in an instant to their heavenly home. It's referred to as "The Rapture", and they say the time is near. Whether or not this happening shall come to pass is far beyond minds such as mine to know. However, it brings to my thinking the possibility for an unequaled opportunity for the insurance industry, such as the world has never known.

It would seem to me that there are plenty of Christians out there who are in doubt about which, if any, of their loved ones shall be taken along with them in The Rapture. It's safe to assume that every Christian believer has at least one person close to them of whom suitability for rapture is in doubt. This brings about the reasoning for my idea. Isn't it reasonable to expect that good Christian folks would want to make provision for the loved ones they leave behind when they're beamed up to their heavenly home? Rapture insurance could pay a benefit to those who are left behind when the saints go marching in.

Life insurance won't do the job because the insured party has not died. There would be no death certificate to base a claim on. All there will be is just one big POOF, and then an empty spot. Conversely, rapture insurance claims wouldn't be too hard to prove because the supposition is that all the pre-approved believers are going to be taken at the same time. That is, all except 144,000 of them who will be left behind to accomplish some yet undisclosed tasks.

I hereby call upon the insurance industry to make rapture insurance available soon. I myself won't need to purchase a policy because, for lack of a better way to put it, unfortunately I think I'll be sticking around until the final bell.

Now where'd I put my bible...