Health insurance companies: They ARE the boss of you

I like conspiracy theories. Speaking as someone who has to confer with three or four friends before deciding on a brand of toilet paper, I love the idea that there are super-secret cabals that control everything that happens to me. In some ways, the supposed control of the Trilateral commission, the Illuminati, the Hashshashini, the Carlyle group, and the Rosicrucians make my total lack of power seem understandable. With all these super-secret organizations fighting for world domination, it's easy to understand why I can't even get extra whipped cream at Starbucks.

That having been said, I also realize that conspiracy theories are total nonsense. As anyone whose ever tried to keep a secret will tell you, any group larger than one person probably has a stool pigeon in it. Besides, who needs scapegoats like the Masons and the Men in Black? I already know who rules the United States.

Insurance companies.