The Wine Rack - Carry your beverage in your bra


Breast augmentation. Form-hugging drink sacks with bite-valve dispensers, such as those worn by mountain bikers. Discrete beverage containers to smuggle booze into sporting events. All are worthy products, but never before have all three been combined into a product like the Wine Rack. This sports bra includes a built in polyurethane bladder that can be filled with 25 oz. of the beverage of her choice, and quaffed via the adjustable drinking tube.

For a certain class of citizens, this sports bra from might be the greatest invention since the Foozball machine and cole-slaw wrestling. Attracted to a woman of generous proportions, our hero is momentarily disappointed to find her shelfage is artificial -- but wait, the difference is wine! Oh happy day, as they share a bite valve of rosé!

I do confess to wondering what a few hours in a sweaty sports bra does to the bouquet of a good Merlot (clear evidence that I'm terminally married). For those still trawling the singles scene, the Wine Rack is one way to stand out from the crowd, and exude confidence that there is more to you than is readily apparent. About 25 ounces more.