Parasite Pals valentines, 40 for $4.95

The Daily Deal for Tuesday, February 12: I find myself torn in two directions around Valentine's day. On the one hand, I remember back to my childhood, when I used to give and receive cute little valentines from my classmates. Sure, they were cheesy and corporate. Sure, they were a popularity contest. Still, I loved the valentines, and would cherish every sickly-sweet one of them.

Of course, as a somewhat prickly adult, I now officially despise the whole "I WUV you!" Valentine's day subtext, and the very thought of a itty-bitty, cutesy-wootsie Vawwentine makes me want to fwow up.

I never thought that these two sides of my personality could ever find a way to co-exist. However, I recently found the coolest Valentines ever. Archie McPhee is currently offering a deal on Parasite Pals Valentines. First off, these lovely little pieces of paper offer the whole Parasite Pals gang: Holly the Hostess, Dig-Dig the head louse, Tickles the tapeworm, Blink-Blink the eyelash mite, and Zzeezz the bed bug. Second, they seamlessly combine cuteness and contagion in a lovely little package that will delight both your inner child and your outer curmudgeon. Third, they are on sale for a mere $4.95 for forty. Finally, they are the perfect opportunity to strike a blow against "Hello Kitty" preciousness everywhere.

Sure, it's a little late, and it would take an act of God and a ridiculous amount of postage for you to get these before the 14th, but you can still send them to friends and family or just save them for President's Day, St. Patrick's Day, or Easter, which would only increase the surreality.

Happy Valentines Day!