Bridal wear: More meringue, less dough

I imagine I'm going to get flamed for saying this, but here goes: to me, most wedding dresses are identical. Sure, there are little differences here and there, but the vast majority of them look like a cross between a cheerleader's uniform and a mass of whipped cream. When I asked my wife about this, she told me her pet theory: she's convinced that most women plan their wedding when they're five or six. While they may adjust some of the finer points over the years, they generally hew to their original vision. Consequently, although they may physically be in their twenties or thirties when they wed, the part that does the actual planning is a shrieking, high-pitched little girl with absolutely no taste.

I mulled it over. Certainly, the theory had some strong points, but it seemed a little harsh. Then I thought about Disney's Cinderella and, suddenly, I knew that my wife was right.