Superbed: $50,000 for a good night's sleep?

Tired of tossing and turning at night? Does the fear of losing your money keep you awake? Then the latest bed from Legget & Platt might be your answer. At a sale price of up to $50,000, you won't have any money left to worry about.

My wife might be willing to pay for one of the Starry Night bed's features, a vibration sensor meant to detect when I start to snore and adjust my sleeping position to stop it. She wouldn't be so interested in the heating and cooling channels that are built into the mattress, or the iPod docking station and hard drive, wireless internet, TV projector, and surround-sound speakers.

Missing, oddly, are some options that would be welcome in my household. Why not add a hand vacuum for crumbs, a cat-hair collector, a mallet for crushing my alarm clock, and an ejection feature? Until, then, I'll keep slumming on my Posturepedic.