The $13.76 espresso: Never trust an artist with a coupon

Updated

How about a little Starbucks math? Tom Barlow has already set you straight on how much a barrel of Starbucks lattes would run you. Now we have this item from the More Bang for Your Starbucks Department:

Manhattan artist Billy Chasen explains on his blog, [an error occurred while processing this directive].com, that one shouldn't be shy with Starbucks coupons. Chasen, "free beverage" coupon in hand, set out to devise the most joltin' of joes, pushing the bean champeen to its espresso extremities.

With the help of a sympathetic Starbucks server -- and an assist from his barista sista, Lauren -- Chasen concocted the 13-shot venti soy hazelnut vanilla cinnamon white mocha with extra white mocha and caramel! The tab came to $12.70 -- $13.76 with New York's 8.375% sales and use taxes -- which is juuuust a little cheaper than a domestic beer might run in Chasen's Upper East Side neighborhood (cue rim shot).

So how much caffeine are we talking about? Let's see: an espresso shot contains about 75 milligrams of caffeine, so if you're thinking of ordering the 13-shot Chasenchino, you're looking at around 1,000 milligrams of caffeine. Unhealthy? Sure. Lethal? Nah, not unless you're pounding 10 of them. Or you're an infant.

But still, 1,000 milligrams of caffeine is nothing to scoff at. Expect a lot of twitching, sheep-counting and perhaps a little psychomotor agitation. And several bathroom trips.

Looking for more Starbucks hijinks? Enjoy Mark Malkoff's Starbucks Challenge, and watch as the eks-sess-sive ee-nunts-ee-ay-torrrr sets out to hit all of Manhattan's 171 Starbucks in 24 hours.



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