Year's best wacky warning labels
For eleven years, the Michigan Law Abuse Watch (M-LAW) has held a Wacky Warning Label contest. Winners of this year's contest, just announced, was an illustrated instruction for a folding baby stroller with the warning, in bold letters, "REMOVE CHILD BEFORE FOLDING."
- An iron-on shirt decoration that carried the warning, "DO NOT IRON WHILE WEARING SHIRT."
- Another baby stroller, this one with a small bag for carrying accessories, with the label, "DO NOT PUT CHILD IN BAG."
- A letter opener with the caveat, "CAUTION: SAFETY GOGGLES RECOMMENDED."
- A Vanishing Fabric Marker with the message, "...SHOULD NOT BE USED AS AN INSTRUMENT FOR SIGNING CHECKS OR ANY LEGAL DOCUMENT."
Among the past winners are these treasures:
- On a flushable toilet brush: "DO NOT USE FOR PERSONAL HYGIENE."
- For a massage chair: "NEVER FORCE ANY BODY PART INTO THE BACKREST AREA WHILE THE ROLLERS ARE MOVING."
- Can of pepper spray: "MAY IRRITATE EYES."
- Shin pads: "CANNOT PROTECT ANY PART OF THE BODY THEY DO NOT COVER."
- Snow blower: "DO NOT USE SNOW BLOWER ON ROOF."
- Box of birthday candles: "DO NOT USE...AS EAR PLUGS OR FOR ANY OTHER FUNCTION THAT INVOLVES INSERTION INTO A BODY CAVITY."
And to think I used to put those things on my birthday cake!