Year's best wacky warning labels

For eleven years, the Michigan Law Abuse Watch (M-LAW) has held a Wacky Warning Label contest. Winners of this year's contest, just announced, was an illustrated instruction for a folding baby stroller with the warning, in bold letters, "REMOVE CHILD BEFORE FOLDING."

Other winners-

  • An iron-on shirt decoration that carried the warning, "DO NOT IRON WHILE WEARING SHIRT."

  • Another baby stroller, this one with a small bag for carrying accessories, with the label, "DO NOT PUT CHILD IN BAG."

  • A letter opener with the caveat, "CAUTION: SAFETY GOGGLES RECOMMENDED."

  • A Vanishing Fabric Marker with the message, "...SHOULD NOT BE USED AS AN INSTRUMENT FOR SIGNING CHECKS OR ANY LEGAL DOCUMENT."

Among the past winners are these treasures:

  • On a flushable toilet brush: "DO NOT USE FOR PERSONAL HYGIENE."

  • For a massage chair: "NEVER FORCE ANY BODY PART INTO THE BACKREST AREA WHILE THE ROLLERS ARE MOVING."

  • Can of pepper spray: "MAY IRRITATE EYES."

  • Shin pads: "CANNOT PROTECT ANY PART OF THE BODY THEY DO NOT COVER."

  • Snow blower: "DO NOT USE SNOW BLOWER ON ROOF."

  • Box of birthday candles: "DO NOT USE...AS EAR PLUGS OR FOR ANY OTHER FUNCTION THAT INVOLVES INSERTION INTO A BODY CAVITY."

And to think I used to put those things on my birthday cake!

ww.mlaw.org/wwl/