Next year's spinoffs of Talking Jesus


The news about the shortage of the popular Jesus Christ talking dolls got me to thinking about next year's toys. In an industry that shamelessly copies the latest and most lucrative, I'm guessing we'll see a congregation's worth of Talking Jesus spinoffs. These might include

Tickle Me, Buddha --That jolly face and round belly could be Santa Claus dressed for the spa.

Silent Sid -- The Siddhartha doll can speak; he simply chooses not to.

G.I. Mohammad -- Comes complete with AK 47 and IED kit. Burkha Barbie sold separately.

The Dolly Lama -- So cute in saffron robes and "Tibet or Bust" sash.

The Justice League Solomon -- Complete with bifurcating baby.

Pope Pinocchio IV -- A modern gameboard version of truth or dare.

The Noah Lego kit -- Built your own ark and your own Lego-animals, two by two.

Haile Selassie Baby's First Bong -- for the Rastafarian kid who has everything.