These Are The 20 Funniest Parents On Social Media This Week
We survived Halloween — or, more importantly, the day after Halloween. Grab a fun-sized Twix bar from your kid's stash and lean back, because your fellow parents are giving out laughs.
Try harder next time.
If I've taught my children anything, it's that they need to hide their Halloween candy better.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) November 1, 2022
Simon?
Just heard a mom yelling, “THEODORE!”
So I hit her with an, “ALVIN!”
No one in that Aldi parking lot laughed. I hate it here.— Jason, Evil (@benedictsred) October 30, 2022
Payback is real.
The next time my kid’s school asks for money, I’m going to remind them that they sent him home with a big bag of candy AND a whistle on the same day
— meghan (@deloisivete) October 31, 2022
That will go well.
Good luck breaking into my house. I have different baby gates everywhere with different push, pull, lift, slide opening combinations.
— ☠️Mummy Curses☠️ (@mommy_cusses) October 11, 2022
For real.
My teen- *with a mouthful of burger and fries* Must be nice to be an adult and do whatever you want
Me- *picking at my salad and holding the bill*- Yeah, it’s been a real treat— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) November 3, 2022
Productive day.
I helped my kids clean under their beds & we found 37 sticks, 15 rocks & their long-lost brother.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) October 31, 2022
SO WEIRD.
Husband: It’s so weird that the kids didn’t get any Twix or Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups for Halloween.
Me: *wipes the chocolate from my mouth* So weird.— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) November 1, 2022
"... that we have saved for you for 40 years."
Parents be like, “Here’s 4 boxes of your old elementary school work you left at the house.”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 1, 2022
Who are we raising?
Cut my finger while carving a pumpkin and my 12 y/o daughter told me to save the blood in case we needed it for decorations so I said, “ok, sweetie,” and took garlic to bed with me because WTF.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) October 31, 2022
Shhh. Say less.
The nurse sent an email saying half my kid’s preschool is out sick, so I blocked her because I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 2, 2022
Whoops.
Before you settle on a baby name, you should have people say it with with every different accent and see if you still like it. My first choice name failed the Boston accent test
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) November 2, 2022
MOM WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING?
Me: *hydroplaning through four lanes of traffic in my minivan*
My kids: MOM ARE YOU LISTENING I SAID KNOCK KNOCK— Lindsay Hunter (@lindsaydevon) October 21, 2022
There will be a murder.
A horror movie but it’s just a married couple trying to work from home and one of them is chewing
— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) October 29, 2022
Fail.
Imagine dating, falling in love, getting married, having kids, and only then realizing that the person you chose is literally incapable of whispering
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) November 1, 2022
She needed it.
Congratulations to my wife on the purchase of her one millionth candle.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) October 27, 2022
Pro tip!
Apparently if you shout, "Get away from the window! You're naked!" solicitors will leave.
— MommyingHard (@MommyingHard) October 31, 2022
Seriously?
Just when I’ve finally gotten everything cleaned and put in the dishwasher, my kid comes marching in with her museum collection of dishes and cups
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) November 1, 2022
*Shakes fist*
always that one neighbor up at 6am nov 1 taking down halloween and putting up christmas
— Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce) November 1, 2022
Blasphemy.
8: Aren’t the Red Hot Chili Peppers old men?
Me: You’re grounded.— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) November 1, 2022
That'll do it.
Establish dominance in your marriage by watching all 7 seasons of Gilmore Girls under your husband's Netflix profile
— An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) November 1, 2022
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This article was originally published on TODAY.com