100 Pregnancy Quotes That’ll Make You Pee Your Maternity Jeans
You’re hungry all the time. Your boobs feel weird. You just cried at an All-State commercial. Pregnancy has its quirks, to say the least. And nothing sums up the experience quite like these 100 pregnancy quotes. From celebrities like Olivia Wilde and Princess Diana to writers, philosophers and midwives, here are the words that will help you encapsulate this wild ride.
The Best Motherhood Quotes from Celebrities Who Totally Get It
1. “Baby brain is real. I should not be permitted to operate heavy equipment, including iPhones.” — Olivia Wilde
2. “People always say that pregnant women have a glow. And I say it’s because you’re sweating to death.” — Jessica Simpson
3. “Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.” — Carol Burnett
4. “I used to have a terrific flat stomach but now it’s kind of blown out after two giant babies used it as a short-term apartment.” — Amy Poehler
5. “My baby’s body fat is 2 to 3 percent this week. I’m so jealous.” — Pink
6. “There’s something very cool yet very creepy about a baby moving inside your belly. Regardless, I’m pretty sure she’s going to be a gymnast.” — Kelly Clarkson
7. “The baby hasn’t even come out yet and I am already so resentful towards my husband. Especially when he asks me to do stuff around the house. ‘Hey, can you wash the dishes?’ ‘I am not doing jack s#%t anymore; I’m busy making an eyeball!’” – Ali Wong
8. “Being pregnant was the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. Except for the cupcakes.” — Ashlee Simpson
9. “Pregnancy. It’s just like a constant hangover.” — Ellie Kemper
10. “Everything grows rounder and wider and weirder, and I sit here in the middle of it all and wonder who in the world you will turn out to be.” — Carrie Fisher
11. “If your baby is beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time—you’re the grandma.” — Theresa Bloomingdale
12. “A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years, and in your heart until the day you die.” — Mary Mason
13. “Pregnancy is a process that invites you to surrender to the unseen force behind all life.” — Judy Ford
14. “Pregnancy is the only time when you can do nothing at all and still be productive.” — Evan Esar
15. “Babies are always more trouble than you thought—and more wonderful.” — Charles Osgood
16. “To be pregnant is to be vitally alive, thoroughly woman, and distressingly inhabited. Soul and spirit are stretched—along with body—making pregnancy a time of transition, growth, and profound beginnings.” — Anne Christian Buchanan
17. “You are the closest I will ever come to magic.” — Suzanne Finnamore
18. “If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.” — Erma Bombeck
19. “Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.” — Lin Yutang
20. “Before you were conceived I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of Mother’s Love.” — Maureen Hawkins
21. “Whether your pregnancy was meticulously planned, medically coaxed, or happened by surprise, one thing is certain—your life will never be the same.” — Catherine Zeta-Jones
22. “Truthfully, being pregnant is changing me as a person. Each day is part of this amazing journey that has completely shifted the focus of my life and made me re-evaluate my personal and professional goals.” — Holly Madison
23. “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” — Helen Keller
24. “The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” — Audrey Hepburn
25. “Family is the most important thing in the world.” — Princess Diana
26. “A grand adventure is about to begin.” — Winnie the Pooh
27. “Life is a crazy ride. It’s a privilege to go through it with a partner.” — Kristen Bell
28. “Pregnancy is getting company inside one’s skin.” — Maggie Scarf
29. “Now my belly is as noble as my heart.” — Gabriela Mistral
30. “Of course I can do this. I’m pregnant, not brain-damaged. My condition doesn’t change my personality.” — Christine Feehan
31. “I’m never as happy as when I’m pregnant. I literally would have 10 babies if I could!” — Tori Spelling
32. “Be present. To show up every day is kind of the most romantic part because you can bail at any moment.” — Maya Rudolph
33. “A new baby is like the beginning of all things—wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.” — Eda LeShan
34. “There is no greater happiness than seeing your family grow.” — Beyoncé
35. “Loving a baby is a circular business, a kind of feedback loop. The more you give the more you get and the more you get the more you feel like giving.” — Penelope Leach
36. “Going into a pregnancy is a really challenging time for a woman, because it’s forever-changing, both mentally and physically.” — Brooke Burke
37. “Every four weeks I go up a bra size…it’s worth being pregnant just for the breasts.” — Natasha Hamilton
38. “A mother is always the beginning. She is how things begin.” — Amy Tan
39. “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” — Lao Tzu
40. “It is the most powerful creation to have life growing inside of you. There is no bigger gift.” — Beyoncé
41. “Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child.” — Tina Brown
42. “Children reinvent your world for you.” — Susan Sarandon
43. “When we encourage new parents to ‘treasure these moments because they don’t last forever,’ we need to remember to also reassure them that they will survive these moments because they don’t last forever.” — L.R. Knost
44. “Sometimes, when you pick up your child, you can feel the map of your own bones beneath your hands, or smell the scent of your skin in the nape of his neck. This is the most extraordinary thing about motherhood—finding a piece of yourself separate and apart, that all the same, you could not live without.” — Jodi Picoult
45. “Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary—it’s an act of infinite optimism.” — Gilda Radner
46. “It is no accident, Ma, that the comma resembles a fetus—that curve of continuation. We were all once inside our mothers, saying, with our entire curved and silent selves, more, more, more. I want to insist that our being alive is beautiful enough to be worthy of replication. And so what? So what if all I ever made of my life was more of it?” — Ocean Vuong
47. “When I was pregnant, I was so huge and people on the bus would get up for me. That made me feel so precious and valued and valuable. I try to treat everyone like they’re pregnant.” — Mariska Hargitay
48. “You are already my favorite adventure.” — Hannah Ferrier
49. “Your pregnant elephant ankles will return to normal. Just hang in there.” — Adriel Booker
50. “The amazing thing about becoming a parent is that you will never again be your own first priority.” — Olivia Wilde
51. “Being pregnant feels like you’re constantly hungover, except you didn’t even get to enjoy the party.” — Mindy Kaling
52. “Pregnancy is like having a bowling ball attached to your stomach for nine months, except the ball keeps getting bigger and heavier.” — Jennifer Garner
53. “Pregnancy is like a 9-month-long science experiment that you conduct on yourself.” — Jessica Biel
54. “Pregnancy is like a rollercoaster ride. One minute you’re excited and the next you’re holding on for dear life.” — Mila Kunis
55. “Pregnancy is the ultimate excuse for being late, forgetful, and emotional.” — Amy Poehler
56. “Pregnancy is a time when your body becomes a public exhibit, and everyone has an opinion on how you should be taking care of it.” — Tina Fey
57. “A baby is a wishing well. Everyone puts their hopes, their fears, their pasts, their two cents in.” — Elizabeth Bard
58. “Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.” — Tina Fey
59. “Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.” — A.A. Milne
60. “Making the decision to have a child—it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” — Elizabeth Stone
61. “In the pregnancy process I have come to realize how much of the burden is on the female partner. She’s got a construction zone going on in her belly.” — Al Roker
62. “One of the hardest things about parenting is that you just never know what the outcome will be. It’s a total leap of faith.” — Catherine Newman
63. “The first pregnancy is the most self-indulgent thing in the world because you get massages and prenatal yoga and hypnotherapy CDs. During this one, I forget that I’m even pregnant. I’m hoisting my 2-year-old around.” — Emily Blunt
64. “My goal is to appreciate my body for what it has done.” — Sia Cooper
65. “My body has given me the greatest gift of my life.” — Hilary Duff
66. “Childbirth is an experience in a woman’s life that holds the power to transform her forever.” — Suzanne Arms
67. “Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.” — Rita Rudner
68. “If you are a mom, you are a superhero, period.” — Rosie Pope
69. “You are my sun, my moon, and all of my stars.” — E.E. Cummings
70. “There is no such thing as a perfect parent, so just be a real one.” — Sue Atkins
71. “Three things remain with us from paradise: stars, flowers and children.” — Dante Alighieri
72. “When you moved, I felt squeezed with a wild infatuation and protectiveness. We are one. Nothing, not even death, can change that.” — Suzanne Finnamore
73. “Maternity is a glorious thing since all mankind has been conceived, born, and nourished of women.” — Martin Luther
74. “Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch.” — E.B. White
75. “If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters.” — Nora Ephron
76. “The condom broke. I know how stupid that sounds. It’s the reproductive version of the dog ate my homework.” — Jennifer Weiner, Little Earthquakes
77. “I have two brains in my body, but I’ve never been so dumb.” — Modern Family
78. “It’s a great thing about being pregnant—you don’t need excuses to pee or to eat.” — Angelina Jolie
79. “Of course, I’d like children. But I have to get over my impression that being pregnant is like popping corn. You expand and expand until you pop.” — Markie Post
80. “The wisdom and compassion a woman can intuitively experience in childbirth can make her a source of healing and understanding for other women.” — Stephen Gaskin
81. “Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers—strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.” — Barbara Katz Rothman
82. “Whenever and wherever you intend to give birth, your experience will impact your emotions, your mind, your body, and your spirit for the rest of your life.” — Ina May Gaskin
83. “In giving birth to our babies, we may find that we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves.” — Myla and Jon Kabat Zinn
84. “The instant of birth is exquisite. Pain and joy are one at this moment. Ever after, the dim recollection is so sweet that we speak to our children with a gratitude they never understand.” — Madeline Tiger Bass
85. “Childbirth is more admirable than conquest, more amazing than self-defense, and as courageous as either one.” — Gloria Steinem
86. “There is power that comes to women when they give birth. They don’t ask for it, it simply invades them. Accumulates like clouds on the horizon and passes through, carrying the child with it.” — Sheryl Feldman
87. “Giving birth is an incredible act of nature and power.” — Michelle Obama
88. “The moment you give birth, you become a mother. It’s not about your womb or whether you carried the baby for nine months. It’s the act of giving birth that makes you a mom.” — Mandy Moore
89. “There is no greater moment of creation than when life is born.” — Jennifer Worth
90. “Birth is the epicenter of women’s power.” — Ani DiFranco
91. “Let choice whisper in your ear and love murmur in your heart. Be ready. Here comes life.” — Maya Angelou
92. “Life is a flame that is always burning itself out, but it catches fire again every time a child is born.” — George Bernard Shaw
93. “A woman experiencing an unplanned pregnancy also deserves to experience unplanned joy.” — Patricia Heaton
94. “There’s this thing amongst women in the world that if you can handle childbirth, you can handle anything. I had never handled childbirth, and I felt like, in some way that I couldn’t join that ‘powerful women’s club.’” — Kate Winslet
95. “When I got pregnant, I had so much testosterone in me that I grew a beard. I only cropped it last night. It's actually true. I'm not telling a joke. I actually have a beard, but I'm proud of it. I call it Larry.” — Adele
96. “[I thought] how I would fit [the baby] into my life? Would I be too self-obsessed to be able to care about him enough? I have a really extraordinary life and I obviously have a lot of passion about the things that I do. So I didn’t know if I could be selfless enough. But obviously I can—it’s the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me.” — Gwen Stefani
97. “The ability to have no sleep and continue going. It's not pleasant—I never thought that I could actually do it for the amount of time that I’ve done it. Also, I have to say, as a woman, you hate certain parts of your body. You go through those periods where you look in the mirror and you think, Oh, if only I had different legs or arms or whatever.” — Kiera Knightley
98. “I love it. It makes me feel like a woman. It makes me feel that all the things about my body.” — Angelina Jolie
99. “You become like a vampire when you’re pregnant: your senses are so sensitive and your emotions are so heightened.” — Ali Wong
100. “There is something very beautiful about being pregnant. I think I enjoy being pregnant more than not being pregnant. I know it could go either way and the next pregnancy could be the complete opposite.” — Chrissy Teigen
