10 Poor Money Habits Hurting Relationships the Most
Love and money don’t always go hand in hand. As one recent GOBankingRates survey revealed, poor money habits have a significant impact on people’s relationships.
The survey, which polled over 1,000 Americans, found that some of the biggest concerns around love and finances have to do with spending mindlessly and not planning for the future.
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Harmful Money Habits
When asked what poor money habits were impacting their relationship, here’s what the survey respondents who were in a relationship said:
Using credit cards too much to buy things: 18.65%
Impulse shopping: 17.96%
Living beyond your means: 16.77%
Not prioritizing saving: 16.57%
Not creating a budget: 15.18%
Not building an emergency fund: 13.89%
Not investing: 10.12%
Making minimum monthly payments instead of a full payment: 10.02%
Not paying bills on time: 8.93%
Lifestyle inflation: 7.94%
About 26% said that none of these habits had impacted their relationship.
According to the results, Gen X was most concerned about credit card overuse, while millennials and Gen Z worried most over impulse shopping — though living beyond their means was a close second for millennials.
Below, experts detail how these poor money habits hurt relationships — and what you can do about it.
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How These Habits Hurt Your Relationship
“Financial problems like overusing credit cards, impulse shopping, living beyond means and not budgeting or saving can put a huge strain on romantic relationships,” said Loretta Kilday, senior attorney at Debt Consolidation Care.
“When couples overspend and rack up debt, it can cause a lot of stress, anxiety and fights as they try to keep up with bills and pay off what they owe,” she explained. “Living above their means can also make partners feel entitled or like they can never have the lifestyle they want, which breeds frustration and blame.”
Not having a budget or savings, she added, leaves couples high and dry when emergencies pop up or when it comes to long-term goals. “They clash over money choices because they are not on the same page. Hiding purchases or debts from each other shatters trust and intimacy, too.”
To keep money from messing with their relationship, Kilday said couples have to put financial teamwork first.
“That means getting real about goals, making a budget together and being upfront about spending and saving. Working as a team to handle money in a healthy, honest way cuts down stress and makes the relationship stronger in the long run.”
Different Spending Habits Lead to Adversity
“The marriage can be pulled apart if spending habits differ,” said Melanie Musson, a finance expert with Clearsurance. “When couples have different spending habits, it can lead to constant adversity. What it comes down to is that spending habits reflect goals, which couples should have jointly if financial goals go in different directions.”
If one spouse overuses credit cards and the other is committed to avoiding credit card debt, she said resentment can grow between the couple. “The spender may feel the saver is boring, and the saver may feel the spender has no regard for their future.”
“Couples need to compromise and form shared goals that they’re both willing to commit to,” Musson explained. “Marriage or couples counseling can benefit partners, because a third party can help them see the problems and good in each person’s financial approach.”
She said sitting down together and writing down goals and steps to reach them can help both partners commit to actions that help them achieve shared and individual goals. “The important thing is to come together and communicate to figure out a solution.”
Conflicts Over Budgeting and Saving
“You know those moments when you see something and just can’t resist buying it? Well, sometimes that can cause problems in relationships,” said Erica Brenning, real estate investor at Cash Buyers. “If one of you tends to make spontaneous purchases without much thought or planning, it can put a strain on your finances and lead to disagreements.
“The other partner, who might be more focused on saving and budgeting, might feel frustrated and worried about the impact on your financial stability.”
She said it’s important to find a balance and understand each other’s spending habits to avoid unnecessary conflicts.
Not Being Transparent About Finances
“Trust is so important in a relationship, and when it comes to money, honesty is key,” said Brenning. “Financial infidelity happens when one partner hides financial information, like secret spending or undisclosed debts… This kind of dishonesty can cause a lot of emotional distress and strain in a relationship.”
She said it’s crucial to be open and honest about your finances, as transparency is the foundation of a strong bond.
Not Understanding How Money Matters Are About Mindset
“Oftentimes, the root of money issues in marriage comes down to values and underdiscussed money stories,” said Jennifer Aube, certified financial planner and owner of Wironen Aube Wealth Management. “If a couple is in disagreement regarding credit card usage, spending more than they earn, not saving, etc., there is likely an uncovered money story that needs to be discussed.”
Aube said money matters are all about mindset.
“It is important to discuss money in marriage,” she noted. “Sweeping your disagreements around your financial situation under the rug will just result in a larger disagreement later, as nothing has been resolved.”
Failing To Keep an Open Dialogue About Money
“If you and your spouse disagree about a financial matter, ask the hard questions. Ask ‘why’, and ‘tell me more,'” Aube said.
She said to continue asking questions until you discover why your spouse feels the way they do. “For example, someone who has struggled growing up with never having enough may spend quickly, as they are unsure when the next amount of money will come in.”
Or, on the contrary, someone with the same background may save every penny and be unwilling to purchase a new car or spend any money due to wanting to save it, because saving it all gives them confidence that when the money stops coming in, there will be some in reserve.
“There may also be circumstances where you don’t know why your patterns around money management exist as they do,” Aube explained. “Perhaps you have simply watched your parents ‘do it that way’ and are uncomfortable departing from what you have always seen.”
Regardless of your “why” behind your money matters, Aube said it’s imperative to keep open a dialog between you and your spouse in order to understand why decisions are made and try to come to an understanding that you work out together.
Survey methodology: GOBankingRates surveyed 1,008 Americans aged 18 and older from across the country between March 26 and April 1, 2024, asking twenty different questions: (1) Has a lack of financial literacy caused you to struggle with your money?; (2) Which current money hot topic is most confusing to you?; (3) Which money expert do you trust most for teaching you the basics of money?; (4) Since the pandemic started in 2020, do you think you have become smarter about your money?; (5) What poor money habits did you learn during your childhood? (select all that apply); (6) What poor money habits did you develop in your early adult years? (select all that apply); (7) What poor money habits have had an impact on your marriage/partnership? (select all that apply); (8) What poor money habits do you worry about passing on to your kids? (select all that apply); (9) What aspect of buying a car do you find most challenging/confusing?; (10) What aspect of buying a house do you find most challenging/confusing?; (11) What aspect of paying off debt do you find most challenging/confusing?; (12) What concerns you most about planning for retirement?; (13) What best describes your feelings about investing?; (14) How much have you saved in the last year?; (15) How much debt have you acquired in the last year, not including mortgage debt?; (16) Do you currently bring in enough money to cover your bills?; (17) How much do you think about your financial status?; (18) What best describes your feelings about managing your money?; (19) What is your monthly car payment?; and (20) How much income do you think is needed for a middle-class family to live comfortably?. GOBankingRates used PureSpectrum’s survey platform to conduct the poll.
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This article originally appeared on GOBankingRates.com: 10 Poor Money Habits Hurting Relationships the Most
