Are You Addicted to Starbucks? 12 Ways to Tell

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Are You Addicted to Starbucks? 12 Ways to Tell
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Are You Addicted to Starbucks? 12 Ways to Tell

Read on to learn if you are addicted to Starbucks.

You Have a Favorite Starbucks

Your friends tell you it doesn’t matter, every Starbucks is exactly the same, but you know this statement to be false. At your Starbucks the lattes are never short a pump and the foam is as stiff and pale as angel’s wings.

Image Credit: flickr---m01229

Alternately, There are Certain Starbucks You Refuse to Visit

Maybe their macchiato just sort of tastes off, or one time a new, confused barista got an attitude with you when you ordered a 120-degree latte. For whatever reason, that Starbucks is dead to you now. And God forbid someone tries to make you go to one of those pseudo-Bucks inside a Target. Those are amateur hour shenanigans, and you’d be better off hopping the counter and mixing up that strawberry Frappuccino yourself.

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You’ve “Helpfully” Shouted Instructions From Across the Counter

Listen, you’ve been coming to Starbucks since Clueless was in theatres, okay? And you’re not trying to be mean, but you could taste the difference between regular and sugar-free cinnamon dolce syrup on the second day of a head cold with a burn on your tongue.

Image Credit: Partner_Experience_In-store-Starbucks

You’ve Got a Favorite Barista

The one who starts your drink before you even open the door, which makes it a little awkward if you ever want to switch it up, but it’s not like your bestierista would ever be anything but supportive of your beverage choices. You’ll admit to being bummed that he quit to go to law school, even if you are happy for his new opportunity.

Image Credit: Starbucks

You Feel Weird Ordering at Other Coffee Shops

What do they mean there’s no venti? How big is this “large” they speak of? “Skinny” simply means nonfat milk and doesn’t indicate that you wanted sugar-free syrup as well? You’ve been speaking Starbucks so long that other coffee shops have begun to feel like hostile foreign countries where one false move can leave you weeping into a chipped mug of lukewarm decaf.

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Moods and Seasons Have Started to Taste Like Starbucks

A pumpkin spice latte tastes like fall to you. Iced upside down caramel macchiato tastes like a celebration. Venti soy tastes like a Wednesday afternoon. Iced passion tea with one sugar tastes like a hangover. Remember the days before Starbucks when coffee tasted gross? Ha! What a dark, sad time.

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Home Brewed Coffee Tastes Strange

When you’re invited to a friend’s house and he or she offers you a cup of coffee, you panic. Why is it so bitter? Why is the cup so small? Is everyone just drinking one of these tiny little cups of weird black sludge? When you’ve been mainlining troughs of caffeine every day for years, one dinky little after dinner cup of Joe feels like a child’s tea party.

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You Feel Superior to Newbies

You hate to admit it, but you’ve rolled you eyes when you stood in line behind someone struggling to order “A medium, I guess? Cappuccino? But like, a chocolate one?” You’ve wanted to push a baffled newcomer to the side and yell, “She’ll take a grande mocha” to move things along.

Image Credit: Starbucks

You’ve Argued With a Loved One Over Your Starbucks Spending

If your spouse has ever shouted, “You spent $300 this month on coffee?” in bewildered anger, then he or she knows what it is to be cuckolded by the Bucks.

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You’ve Tried, and Failed, To Tame Your Obsession

Maybe your mom bought you an espresso machine to make “those coffee things you like” or maybe you found an iced coffee recipe that sounded pretty killer, so you bought Starbucks brand coffee and syrup to try your hand at being your own barista and lied to yourself for a week that you totally couldn’t taste the difference. Come Monday morning, you were right back in line. Your bestierista asked if you’d been on vacation.

Image Credit: Starbucks

You’ve Won a Starbucks-Related Game of “That’s Nothing”

A co-worker says, “I’ve been so bad this week. I went to Starbucks twice.” Your reply? “That’s nothing.” Because you’ve been to Starbucks twice already today.

Image Credit: Starbucks

You Will Defend Your Beloved Coffee At All Costs

It’s become pretty popular to bash Starbucks and the folks who love it as people who don’t understand “real” coffee. But your love is real, and no one can take that away from you.

Image Credit: Starbucks

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Another day, another $5 coffee. Or two. Or three, if it's been a really long day and traffic is the worst and you still have that dinner thing later that you don't want to go to...

For an addict, that green and white sign is a glimmering beacon of hope in a world full of small annoyances and weird-tasting home-brewed coffee. There's a reason they've got a siren as a mascot.

Click Here to see the Slideshow for the Are You Addicted to Starbucks? 12 Ways to Tell

When you truly love Starbucks, it calls to you in times of celebration, in times of need, and honestly, just all the time. No other drink in the world tastes like "your" drink, whether you like it sweet, strong or both. And no one anticipates your needs and gives you what you want without judgment like your favorite green-smocked barista, who never raises an eyebrow and says "Back again?" because she gets it. She knows she's selling the good stuff, and she doesn't blame you for wanting what she's got.

Having a Starbucks obsession is undeniably hard on the wallet. Chances are, you've probably had to choose between a healthy lunch and a giant coffee a time or two, but loving the lattes is still nothing to be ashamed of. There are plenty of people just like you, who couldn't care less when the haters say Starbucks isn't "good" coffee or that it isn't "worth" the price. It's good to you, and those daily drinks are absolutely worth it. They're a moment of serenity in a hectic life, a couple of minutes where everything is perfect because your coffee is just the way you like it.

There are tons of little ways to tell if your Starbucks preoccupation has become a full-blown dependency. Do you dream of vanilla soy milk? Have you ever wanted to reach out a trembling finger to lightly caress a perfect, fluffy pile of foam? Then click through this list, Starbucks stalwart, because we're absolutely talking about you.

Check out the slideshow above to learn if you're addicted to Starbucks.

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