17 Cereals That Were Too Sweet to Last
Quisp — Quaker
This late '60s and early '70s "sugary cereal for QUAZY energy" looked like flattened Kix and tasted like Cap’n Crunch, but was a unique classic thanks to its iconic pink mascot, the friendly alien Quisp.
Oreo O’s — Post
The only explanation we can think of for why this glorious food was removed from the market is that one bowl of these scrumptious O’s probably prompted consumers to cease their purchases of all other Post cereals (and possibly all other foods).
Freakies — Ralston
Oh, the '70s. Among many other things, this wacky decade saw our nation’s four-year love affair with a cereal made of "crunchy honey-tasting spaceships" speckled with marshmallows that looked like boogers. These were the Freakies.
French Toast Crunch — General Mills
French Toast Crunch is like the secret, long-lost little sister of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, another General Mills cereal.
Pop-Tarts Crunch — Kellogg’s
If you’d had the chance to taste it — Frosted Strawberry and Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts were essentially just shrunk to spoon-size, making for a crazy-delicious cereal experience.
Rice Krispies Treats Cereal — Kellogg’s
In yet another example of justifying sweets for breakfast by shrinking them to mini-sizes, Rice Krispies Treats Cereal consisted of "wholesome crispy clusters" fused together by a marshmallow cluster.
Nerds Cereal — Ralston
Any cereal that’s an exact replica of a sugary candy is doomed from birth (Reese’s Puffs are apparently the sole exception), but Nerds Cereal made its short life worthwhile.
Ice Cream Cones Cereal — General Mills
Ice Cream Cones Cereal stood out for its awesome, sugar-positive attitude — it definitely did not care what anyone thought about it. As a breakfast choice, it was basically one small step away from making yourself a nice bowl of actual ice cream to start the day.
Dunkin’ Donuts Cereal — Ralston
It was only a matter of time before breakfast kingpin Dunkin’ Donuts rolled out a breakfast cereal. After all, having something as sugary as a donut for breakfast is kind of a crazy idea to begin with — how could donuts-as-cereal be any more ridiculous?
Teddy Grahams Breakfast Bears — Nabisco
Forget cereals of miniaturized delicious things. Teddy Grahams Breakfast Bears was essentially your standard Teddy Grahams, only thrown in a cereal box, called cereal, and eaten in a bowl with milk and a spoon.
S’mores Crunch — General Mills
We can’t really understand why General Mills ever discontinued S’mores Crunch. First of all, who doesn’t love a good s’more? Secondly, it was an excuse to eat them for breakfast.
Rocky Road Cereal — General Mills
You thought rocky road was a flavor reserved solely for ice cream? Nope, once upon a time (aka 1986) you could taste the magical flavor combo of chocolate, nuts, and marshmallow for breakfast with General Mills' cereal.
Dino Pebbles — Post
Dino Pebbles was one of countless "Pebbles" varieties created by Post, but was particularly beloved. It was Flintstones-themed Rice Krispies with colorful marshmallows (supposedly the most marshmallows per box in the biz) in the shapes of dinosaurs.
Sprinkle Spangles — General Mills
Cinnamon buns are an acceptable inspiration for a cereal, but Christmas cookies? Despite the weirdness, like so many '80s and '90s cereals, General Mills’ Sprinkle Spangles just went for it.
Cinnamon Mini Buns — Kellogg’s
We have to commend the advertising campaign for this short-lived '90s cereal — it really told it like it is: "They’re like cinnamon buns… the size of cereal."
Strawberry Honeycomb — Post
Before "Strawberry-Blasted Honeycomb," there was plain Strawberry Honeycomb. This sweet cereal was introduced by Post, and described as a "crunchy, sweetened corn and oat cereal with natural strawberry flavor with other natural flavors, fortified with 10 essential vitamins and minerals."
Mr. T Cereal — Quaker
Sometimes it’s not the tastiness of a cereal that makes it fly off the shelf, but rather it’s the face on the box. Never was this truer than in the case of Quaker’s Mr. T cereal.
Think back to a typical Saturday morning as a 6 year old. With cartoons on the TV and a spoon in hand, you contentedly crunch away at your sugar-loaded cereal of choice: French Toast Crunch, perhaps, or the fluorescent flakes of Nerds cereal. You slurp down the strawberry milk left in the bowl from your Strawberry Honeycomb or the rainbow-streaked Sprinkle Spangles milk remnants, and go on with your happy childhood Saturday.
Fast-forward 10 (or 20, or 30) years later. Perusing the cereal aisle, you realize how bored you are of the grown-up, healthy options that seem to have taken over. You're overcome with nostalgia for your favorite cereal from childhood, and decide to splurge on the calories and go ahead and treat yourself to a box of that sugary goodness.
There's just one problem: it no longer exists.
Most popular cereals marketed to kids are household names that have been around for ages. They're also mostly major sugar bombs — 90 percent of kids' cereals are tested to be high in sugar. And yet, it'd be unimaginable for many of these — think Fruit Loops and Lucky Charms — to be taken off the market. After all, the average American eats 10 pounds of the stuff in a year. But year after year, beloved cereals are discontinued, leaving thousands of cereal lovers with nothing to do but reminisce about the golden days of their sugary childhood favorites.
One of these coveted cereals, Cap'n Crunch, was the subject of a recent scare that had cereal lovers everywhere panicking over the rumor that Cap'n Crunch was being "retired" as a Quaker Oats brand cereal. Noticing that the Cap'n was nowhere to be seen on the company's main website and that there seemed to be a decline in recent promotions, fans speculated that the sugary cereal was "too unhealthy" to go on. Thankfully, Quaker put an end to the rumors and quelled our worst fears when it told AdAge, "Reports of Cap'n Crunch's demise are greatly exaggerated."
But when it comes to over-the-top delicious cereals that happen to be high in sugar, we still live in fear that they'll one day be taken away. Kids' cereals are getting less sugary by the day, and efforts to combat childhood obesity, from Michelle Obama's "Let's Move!" campaign to the special Congress committee dedicated to halting the marketing of sugary foods to kids, promise to slow the production of these "breakfast candy" cereals. We're all for ending childhood obesity, but it also might mean the end of a sugary cereal Golden Age. Someday soon, you could be mourning the loss of one of your current favorites.
Sometimes, you just have to forget the sugar content and take a trip down memory lane. To help you reminisce, view the slideshow above—a list of 17 cereals that were just too sweet to last.
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